Born To Die

two.

OLIVIA

Death was something I was comfortable with, since I had come close to it many times. I remember about a year ago, I was walking home from work, and was held by a man who wanted whatever I had in my purse. With a knife at my throat, I did not say a word or scream, but just stared up at him, waiting for him to take my life. That man had seen something in my eyes that night, something that made him let go of me and walk away to find his next victim.

This one other time, I was on the rooftop of a hotel, where Kayla had brought me. We were just going there to see the night sky, but I found myself walking to the edge, staring down at the cars so far down. I had an image of my mother in my mind and I was imagining what the other side would be like. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I had no idea if I was going to jump, but Kayla pulled me by the arm before I could make that decision. We fell and laughed on the ground for several minutes, at the fact that I had almost died.

So that night, with Michael looking at me with death in his eyes, I was comfortable with the fact that I may die tonight. Dying was much better living life like this. Maybe death was what I was made to succumb to rather than a good life. Death was perhaps a door.

"You're leaving me, Liv?" Michael asked me, tripping over a pile of my clothes as he walked towards me. "You can't leave me. You're all I have."

I continued to stare at him. Waiting for him to kill me or abuse me. I was prepared for it that night, so I was only waiting for it to happen.

He got down on the bed and pinned me on it with his heavy weight. This was different this time. I knew he wasn't just coming here to physically hurt me. By the way he ran his hand up my shirt, I knew the day was coming where he would take his abuse further.

"Anna," He cried on top of me, his dirty lips kissing my neck. I felt my own tear fall from my right eye, knowing that this was going to be my last night on this earth, whether he was going to do it or me.

Suddenly, his weight fell on top of me even more. I opened my eyes in fear, to see that Michael had fell into a deep sleep. I pushed him off of me with all of my might and stood over him, looking down at the monster that he was. There he was, laying down on the purple covers of my bed, so weak and defenceless. . . the same traits he saw in me.

I packed my things quickly, got dressed for the cold and looked down at Michael once more, all before leaving and never turning back.

+ + +

The first thing that I felt when I left that house was how cold it was. March brought on some cold and windy air at night, frosting the glass windows and chasing the birds away. The second thing I felt was freedom. For the first time, I took a step out of the prison I lived in and walked towards the world. Looking at the empty streets of Chicago, I felt hope rush through me. My world was filled with pain and disappointment, but maybe not the one waiting for me to come. A world in New York, where dreams came true.

My dream: to follow Miss Wong in New York and pursue my dance career.

Ms. Wong was my dance teacher in his high school. I had joined her class freshman year, and all the way until junior year when she left for New York to open her own dance studio.

She was full of joy and so talented, and didn't deserve to teach a class of people who could care less to dance. Ms. Lee saw something in me, and offered me to have private lessons with her three times a week after school. She taught me how to dance contemporary and jazz, even how to do acrobatic tricks and helped get me out of the house. She was kind of like my first friend, or a mother figure, so when she left, I was heartbroken. But I made her a promise that I would join her dance studio one day.