Conviction's King | Damian Book 1

Chapter 6

Before I took over Unwea.

I stop, looking over my shoulder as I remember.

"Unwea..." I breathe.

I'll deal with that later.

I rush to Tamir's door and slam it open.

And there she is, nearly falling off of Tamir's bed as I startle her.

I stand there, staring at her, blonde hair a mess from running. Her dark eyes are wide and her straight black hair falls ot her back.

"Damian?" She asks, scared and confused.

"Amawa-na," I breathe, and pull her into a hug. My eyes water as I hold her close, guilt rushing through me at the speed of light. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?" She asks, still confused. "Damian, what's the matter?"

I pull away and hold her at arm's length. Her last moments in my original timeline... she'd died to protect me. She was good and it was because of me she evaporated in the darkness. It was because of me she went crazy. Because of what I did to her by my own will, on my own volition...

This is before I carved the number two in her neck. Before I lashed out at her just trying to help me. To take care of me. To change me. This is before I became her biggest nightmare and her worst fear. Before she would get hurt for trying to change me. Before I cast her to the side because I didn't care about her like I did others. Before I was selfish enough to discard her.

"Listen, forget what I asked you earlier. I don't want an answer. I... I only feel attraction toward you because I feel like if I lose you to Tamir, I lose to him. I won't take care of you. I won't even be nice to you. You deserve someone who will treat you right, who will be there for you when you need him, who will be gentle when you're crumbling to pieces. Forget about me, Amawa-na. If you choose me, you will die because of me. I don't want you to die because of me, Amawa-na."

"Die?" She echoes. "What's going on with you? Why are you acting so crazy?"

"Because I want you to believe me." My chest constricts as I begin to admit the truth. "I was going to attempt to kill Tamir-in tonight. If I succeeded, you'd be a shut-in for a month and eventually agree to marry me, to which I will never marry you and treat you horribly and you will never get to see me change because you die trying to save me from the monster that created me."

"Damian-sai, I—I don't understand what you're saying—you tried to kill Tamir?"

"Yes," I say, nodding. I remember I left him back at the cliff. "Come with me."

"Damian!" She yells as I drag her out of the house and into the woods. She continues lashing me with her words as I pull her to the cliff to see Tamir walking toward the line of trees. His eyes widen as he sees me and I stop.

Amawa-na's eyes widen and she rushes to him.

"Tamir-in!" She shouts with worry, running up to him and touching his neck. She then turns to face me, glaring. "Damian-sai—"

"I know," I say, interrupting her. "I'm sorry." I turn to Tamir. "I'm sorry, Tamir-in. I'm so, so sorry. I... I have some things to confess. I know what I just did to you, Tamir, and I know I tried to manipulate you, Amawa-na, but I need the two of you to listen."

"What's going on, Damian-sai?" Tamir asks, his green eyes glinting. "You just—" he motions toward the cliff, touching his throat gently, unable to finish.

"Tamir," I say, meeting his eyes. My heart jackhammers in my chest as adrenaline makes me skittish. "I would have dropped you in that water. You would have lived a terrible, like, four or five years underwater and then you'd meet one person who would change your life forever. But that was that timeline, and this is this one, the one where I... don't do what I was going to do."

"Damian-sai, what's going on with you?" Tamir asks, angry but concerned.

"Damian-sai, you need to go home. Leave us alone. I don't know what's gotten into you, but—"

"The two of you won't believe me," I interrupt Amawa-na, the words not a plea or in despair, but said as a fact. "But if you won't, then..."

My knees buckle and I fall to the ground, as if groveling before them.

"Please help me," I beg.

The two of them stare at me, stunned.

Tamir shakes his head. "No," he spits. "No, you can't just get by like that. You think you can almost kill me and—"

"Damian-sai," Amawa-na says, her eyes trained on me. She was always willing to help me, even when Tamir wasn't. Forgiving when Tamir's patience would run out. "You look like you're telling the truth."

"Yeah, but he almost killed me, Amawa-na," Tamir spits to her, the malice at me and not her. "Are we really going to help him?"

"You said we," she says. "So that means a small part of you is willing to help."

She kind of smirks at him and he frowns, unamused. She's always seen right through him. Me, she always thought she could.

Tamir groans. "Okay. Okay, fine. But you owe me big time," Tamir says, meeting my eyes.

I breathe a sigh of relief, nearly falling over. "You have no idea."