"Well, we aren't strangers anymore so cry all you want." I laugh some. We leave the theater and walk towards his car.
"Can I take you home?" He asks, leaning against his car.
"Oh, Dean, I know how this goes. You take me home, we talk in your car for a minutes before I feel obligated to invite you in and then his lovely little date turns into a one night stand where I never hear from you again. Unfortunately for you, I don't want to end it like that so I'm gonna walk home." I say, laughing some.
"Are you sure? I could just-"
"I'll text you later." I say before he gets the chance to try to change my mind.
I lean in for a kiss and it feels... different. Not a good different. A strange different. I felt tangled within his limbs and my bones were tense as I tried to find comfort in the embrace. It wasn't natural. We pulled apart and said our goodbyes before I began walking down the dimly lit street.
I checked my phone, glancing over the various notifications before pausing over one of them.
Seven new notifications from: #1 Shrek Wannabe
[Hey]
[Tori are you busy??]
[ : ( Tori ?? ]
[You're on the date aren't you...]
[It's 10pm where are you??]
[Victoria.]
[You better call me immediately.]
I frowned some at the change in his tone. He seemed almost mad. I hesitated before calling his number.
"Hey." I say, holding the phone against my left ear as I continued walking.
"Where the fuck are you?" Awsten asks, anger clear in his voice.
"Well hello to you too sunshine. I'm walking home."
"What street?"
"Burnes St. Awsten I'm like 15 minutes from my house I'm fine. Why are you mad?" I ask. The call suddenly ends and I roll my eyes. He was too dramatic over this. I continue walking, ignoring what just happened.
My mind raced as I thought about what happened with Dean. It wasn't necessarily bad but it definitely wasn't was I was expecting. It didn't feel right. Something about him just didn't feel right. I felt... nothing. My heart felt empty. I felt emotionless. Was something wrong with me? I sighed, turning the corner. Maybe there was something wrong with me.
"Victoria fucking Winters if you don't get into this car I swear to god I'm going to lose my shit." Awsten's voice echoed through the night as I turned to look at the blue car that pulled up beside me.
"I told you it's just a 15 minute walk." I say, stopping in my tracks.
"And it was a 3 minute drive. Your point? Get in the car." He commands and I decide not to argue. I get into the passenger side and stare at the dashboard in front of me.
"Awsten?" I ask quietly, not looking away.
"Yeah?" He sighs, gripping the steering wheel as he calms down.
"I don't want to go home yet. Can we just drive for a while?" I glance over at him and he nods some, starting the engine again. We drive down the road and I lean against the cardoor, rolling the window down, letting my hair blow in the wind. We drove in complete silence for what felt like forever as I gathered my thoughts. I sighed, sitting up in my seat.
"Are you okay?" Awsten asks and I shake my head, looking down at my lap. I cracked my knuckles out of nervous habit, trying to stay calm.
"Am I broken?" I choke out as tears begin to glaze over my cold eyes. I blink hard, pushing them away.
"Tori, no. What makes you think that?" Awsten pulls the car to a stop in the parking lot of an empty park.
"I don't feel a thing. I should feel something. I should have feelings and be happy but I'm not. What the fuck happened to me Awsten? I feel so lost and broken and I don't know how to fix it!" The words fall out and I breathe in heavily, trying to stop crying as the tears fall down my face.
"You're not broken. It's okay. I'm here." He says, hesitating before opening his arms. I fall into him, clinging onto his sweater, crying as his arms wrap around me. He rubs patterns onto my back, humming one of my favorite songs.
"Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Not feeling anything doesn't mean you're broken. It means it's not meant to be right now. It's going to be okay. I'm here and I'm not leaving. Never again." His voice calms me and I pull back some to look at him. His expression was soft and full of worry. He gently places his hands on the sides of my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.
"Why do you choose to stay? I'm not worth all the trouble." I say, looking down in disappointment. He didn't need to see this side of me. Not again.
"You're worth everything to me. Everything. All the pain, all the tears, every single one of them. You are everything to me." He says, lifting my chin. I stare into his beautifully unique eyes, getting lost in them for a moment. My heart raced.
"Tori..." Awsten says as I come closer, placing my hand on his chest. His eyes dart towards my lips as he bites his own some. I stop, inches away from his face.
"Are you sure you want to do this? What if-" He starts and I cut him off.
"Fuck the what ifs." I whisper, breaking the distance between our lips. My heart beats out of my chest and flips. Everything around me faded away. It was just me and Awsten. Just like it used to be. My numbness went away. Everything felt brand new again. I was like an innocent fawn exploring new territory for the first time even though it wasn't the first time. It wasn't a new feeling but it was a feeling. I felt something. We pull back and linger inches apart like before. He smiles some as our foreheads touch.
"Tori?" Awsten asks, a gentle blush creeping across his face.
"Yeah?"
"I don't ever want to be without you again."
YOU ARE READING
Powerless {A.K.}
Fanfiction"The last time i felt so much peace with someone i got my heart ripped out and thrown back at me like a baseball heading straight to the batter so that it can get knocked out of the park and forgotten somewhere. It's like I'm the umpire. Watching, w...
