Head Above Water

Chapter Five

Roughly a week had passed since the day Lilith had learned of Beck's unfortunate status and she had yet to go back to the river and talk to him.  She had to try and keep her family off her back about disappearing for too long, plus she just needed time to think about what she had witnessed.

Lilith was already feeling off mentally, and now to learn she had been talking to some dead guy was really throwing her off.  She didn't want her family to throw her in the looney bin, but she was highly considering throwing herself in there for the time being. 

She sat with her siblings around the fire pit just a ways from the dock, roasting marshmallows and sharing stories.  Their parents were out on the town for their weekly date night so it was just the kids.  Lilith stared into the fire, still lost in her own mind.

"Do you guys believe in ghosts," she blurted.  Everyone started shaking their heads, talking over one another.

Her younger brother, Levi's, head popped up at the sound of ghosts.  "Not really, but did you want to hear some ghost stories? I've been saving some good ones."

Everyone agreed to listen to Levi's stories as they munched on their s'mores.  Lilith sat back in her chair, holding her mug of hot chocolate closer to her chest.  Hearing her siblings all say they didn't believe in ghosts only made her more scared to tell them what happened.  She didn't want to be crazy, but now that was the only word she could associate herself with.

She had to get back to the river tonight.  She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to learn about Beck and why she was the only one that could see him.  Lilith stood up abruptly from her chair, earning the attention of all her siblings. 

"I have to go use the bathroom, I'll be back."

Some of them gave her weird stares and Leo gave her a questionable glance.  She caught his look out of all of them, to which she just subtly shook her head as if to say, 'don't worry about it'. 

He nodded, bringing everyone back to the ghost story, "Levi, keep going.  You haven't even scared us yet."

Lilith smiled, placing her hand on Leo's shoulder as she walked past him and gave it a light squeeze.  She walked up to the house, and once she was sure nobody was looking her way, she slipped into the woods.

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Lilith paced back and forth along the water, picking at her cuticles as she waited for Beck to show up.

"I don't know how this works Beck, am I just supposed to say a magical word or something to summon you?" Lilith glanced up at the sound of the leaves rustling.  She watched as Beck appeared from behind one of the trees, a shy smile on his face.

"You came back.  I was starting to think I scared you off," Beck rubbed the back of his neck, doing his best not to seem too eager.

Lilith softly laughed to herself, looking from Beck down to her feet.  She shrugged her shoulders, softly replying, "I mean, you kind of did, but I also just needed to process a lot."

Beck simply nodded, his hands finding their way into his pockets. 

Lilith watched him kick his heels into the dirt, the silence taking over.  "So, you're really dead, huh?"  He nodded once more.  Lilith returned the gesture, "Why didn't you just start with that, instead of going through all that trouble?"

"I just didn't want to scare you when we first met, because as hard as it may be to understand, I need you just as much as you need me," Beck watched as her eyebrow raised in confusion.  He quickly held up a hand, "I'll explain it later."

Lilith rolled her eyes, "Okay, but I can almost guarantee you that it was scarier to show up at your mom's house asking for her son and then being completely thrown off to find out you were dead.  Oh, and by the way, your mom wanted me to tell you to screw yourself."

Beck's smiled grew as he let out a deep chuckle, nodding slowly, "Yeah, that sounds like my mother alright."

"Do you miss her?" Lilith asked as she sat on the edge of the rocks.  She rested her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward on her arms.  Beck walked over, taking a seat next to her.  His leg bumped against hers as he adjusted his body and even though Lilith knew he was technically dead, the lack of body heat gave her goosebumps as she felt how cold his skin was.  

Beck looked out across the water in the direction of his old house, "I do, every passing second, both her and my little brother.  It sucks, you know, being dead, because it's not like going to sleep for eternity as some may think.  It's actually the complete opposite for some people."

Lilith sighed, glancing over to catch a glimpse of Beck's face, "How come no one else has been able to see you before me?"

"I've seen people come and go.  Some fishing, swimming and whatever else they were doing, and I tried reaching out to them.  The number of times I've screamed in front of people, thinking maybe I'd get their attention this time, but it never seemed to work.  I started thinking I was just stuck this way, that there was nothing more to look forward to after death except for being constantly reminded of where you died.  Then you came along, and you actually heard me.  Turns out I just needed to wait for someone to come along who shared the same intentions as I once had."

Lilith's eyes grew as her head popped up, "Wait, you thought about killing yourself?"  Beck sadly laughed under his breath, nodding while looking towards her.

"I thought about it, I attempted, and I succeeded.  That's why I'm stuck here, and why I could talk to you."  Lilith's mouth was open as she was at a loss for words.  Beck smiled, "I know, it's a lot to take in."

"Well, how do you get out of here?  I mean, pass over to the real afterlife or whatever you call it?"  Her chin rested in her palm as she intensely watched Beck.

He shrugged, "I honestly don't know for sure, but my guess is that I have to right my wrongs and help you to not make the same mistakes that I made."  

"Done deal, I'm not going to kill myself.  I take it all back," Lilith exclaimed, lightly slapping her legs.  Beck let out a breathy laugh, his smile growing.

"I think it's more complicated than that, Lilith," He watched as Lilith frowned, getting frustrated over how to fix things.  She stood up from the rock, pacing once again.  

She went through a few ideas, quickly shutting them down herself before wanting to give up already.  "Well, how exactly are we supposed to do this then if my word isn't good enough?"

Beck stood up, placing his hands on the side of her arms.  He steadied her in one spot, quickly gaining her attention as their eyes met.  Lilith looked up, still in shock that he was actually able to touch her.  "I know just as much as you do about how to get out of this, so we're going to figure it out together.  One day at a time, I guess, until something changes."  Lilith nodded, her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath from pacing and talking too fast.  Beck gently patted her arm before dropping his back down to his sides, "Okay, good.  So, you already know what therapy is like with sad living humans who've thought about suicide, but you've never experienced therapy with a dead guy that actually killed himself."

Lilith looked down to her feet, mumbling to herself, "Oh god, I'm guessing this is going to be dark?"  

Beck nodded triumphantly, "Unfortunately.  I'm going to share my whole story with you, see if that teaches you anything and we'll go from there."

Wonderful.

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it's about to get dark and cute, get ready hoes