A Saphael Alphabet

Eternity

Throughout the long years that stretched into another and accumulated themselves to become the majority of his life, Raphael felt the weight of his immortality.

He felt it first with the death of his mother, the strong woman who he had watched grow old and feeble from the shadows.

He watched in darkness as his family moved on and lived on without him, living life and growing old in the light of the sun as he never would. Sometimes he even envied them, and this included when the sweet embrace of death snatched them away. In fact, this may have even been when he envied them most. What a thing to grow old. To live life naturally as God intended and to finally come home after it all. But he knew it was no longer for him, knew that if he drove a stake through his heart or stood to bask in the warmth of the sun once more he'd only come to burn in the fiery pits of hell. So, he learned to live with that heartache. He learned to watch the lives of those he once loved pass him by.

At least, he thought he had. He thought he was strong; he knew he was supposed to be. And yet, the phone call he received to inform him that his little sister, Rosa Santiago, had passed was more heart wrenching then he could have ever even imagined. He knew that she didn't have much time left. He should've been ready, should've been prepared, yet there he was sitting at the edge of the bed completely motionless as he tried his best to comprehend how he could possibly move forward knowing that he didn't have any family left, that he didn't have anyone left.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed that he spent alone with his own thoughts and tears before Simon awoke to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped.

When he heard the other sniffle, he maneuvered his way to sit next to the other. When he looked at him, Raphael quickly wiped away tears, trying to hide the fact that he had been crying.

Simon placed a hand on Raphael's thigh.

"Raph, what is it?" Simon inquired softly.

Raphael pressed his lips and shook his head solemnly.

"It's my sister, Rosa. She's dead," he said, another tear rolling down his cheek.

Simon gasped. He didn't know what to say.

"I️ am so sorry. I know how much she meant to you," he said, wishing he could say more. He just wished that there was something better he could think of, something that would actually make things better.

Simon was no stranger to death. His father had passed away, however, he was only eight years old when it happened and hardly even understood his own feelings of grief. So, he in no way felt equipped to help Raphael. He himself had yet to truly experience the weight of eternity.

Raphael shook his head.

"I️ knew it was coming. I️ knew," he said, both chastising himself for his own feelings of grief and trying to convince himself that he was okay.

Simon came to place his hands on Raphael's shoulders, embracing the older one.

"You're still allowed to grieve, Raph. She was your last living relative. This can't be easy," Simon said softly.

Raphael clenched his jaw, pressing his lips together in a thin line. He shook his head.

"It's not," he whispered.

With that, Simon turned both of them around so the two were facing each other before allowing Raphael's head to come to his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Simon whispered.

Raphael didn't respond with words, but the faint sound of his crying spoke volumes.

"Let it out," Simon said. "I'm here. It's okay. Just let it out."

And Raphael did, realizing that while the pain was unbearable, he at least had someone there to help him carry the weight of his eternity.