A Saphael Alphabet

Asexual

"Go away. I'm busy," Raphael said without even looking up from his desk. He didn't need to; he knew it was Simon.

Simon shut the door behind him, entering the room anyway despite Raphael's instructions.

With an eye roll, Raphael looked up at Simon.

"What do you want?" Raphael asked bitterly.

Without asking for permission, Simon sat down at the chair in front of Raphael's desk.

"We need to talk," Simon stated. "You've been avoiding me."

Raphael cleared his throat. Of course he'd been avoiding Simon, but he'd never admit that as it would only lead Simon to asking exactly why he'd been doing so which he didn't want to say.

"I️'ve been busy. It's not all about you," Raphael replied.

Simon shook his head.

"Cut the crap, Raph. I don't know what I️ did to make you so mad at me. I️ told you I️t was fine if you weren't ready to take the next step..."

"You don't get it," Raphael interrupted. With this, he rose from his seat, turning away from Simon to face the back wall.

Simon decided to try a slightly different approach. He came up behind Raphael, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You're right, I️ don't. So, please, just explain it to me. I know you have trouble opening up, but I don't know how we're supposed to make this work if you won't talk to me," Simon explained, his voice softer.

Raphael shook his head, moving away from Simon's touch before turning to face him. He sighed.

"I don't know if we can make it work at all," Raphael replied.

Simon took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. Had Raphael really tried to ghost him? When they lived in the same goddamn hotel?

"So, what? You're breaking up with me just like that?" Simon asked, his voice angry and bitter but the wavering revealing that he was suppressing tears.

Raphael took a step forward, closing the gap between him and Simon. He gently placed a hand on the other's face, hoping to comfort him.

"It's not like that. I️ care about you, and you deserve someone who can give you everything that you want and I️ can't," he explained. Simon still wasn't understanding.

"Raphael, I️ told you if you weren't ready-"

"I️ never will be ready," Raphael said.

Seeing the look of confusion on the fledgling's face, Raphael braced himself for what he was about to tell him. He wasn't sure if it was the right time. Hell, he didn't even know if the right time existed. Still, he was going to do it anyway.

"I'm just not like that. I'm not interested in sex. I️ never have been, and I️ never will be," Raphael explained.

There was a slight look of shock on Simon's face. He nodded slowly, taking it all in. There was a moment of silence. This couldn't have been good; Simon was never silent.

"So, you're asexual?" Simon mused, his words coming out much slower than normal.

Raphael raised an eyebrow in confusion. Then, his eyes widened at the realization, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I️...there's...there's a word for it?" Raphael asked, his eyes wide with a surprising expression of hope.

A smile crept across Simon's face as he nodded. Raphael's reaction alone really put things into perspective for Simon. The world really had changed in all of the time that the older vampire had been alive.

"Of course there is, Raph. You're not alone. There are tons of people who feel exactly how you do," Simon said.

He then saw the ghost of a smile on Raphael's face through his pensive expression, still processing everything that Simon was telling him.

"And you? You're okay with it?" Raphael asked.

Simon took Raphael's hand in his own.

"Of course I️ am. Why wouldn't I️ be?" Simon asked.

"I don't know. I️ just thought maybe it was important to you," Raphael replied.

Simon shook his head.

"You're what's important to me, Raph. You," Simon said.

Raphael nodded.

"I'm sorry for not just confronting you," Raphael said.

Simon nodded.

"It's okay. Just promise me one thing?"

Raphael gave Simon a look to indicate that he was listening.

"Just promise me that you'll be open with me about what you are and aren't comfortable with, okay?"

"Okay."