Getting Lost on the Roads of Life - a KakaSaku Story [CONCLUDED]

Where There's a Spark, There's a Fire

Sakura's temperature was dropping. Shudders shook her body in shorter and shorter intervals and the bare skin of her lower arms was ice cold to the touch. Kakashi knew the signs: severe chakra depletion.

He tried to wrap himself around her more thoroughly, willing his body heat to flow into her since there was no blanket in reach. But whom was he trying to fool... When he had still had the Sharingan, he had been able to copy every jutsu used in his line of sight, which included medical ninjutsu - but even though he could mimic the hand signs perfectly, the effects it had were laughable. The copy ninja had many talents but healing was decidedly not one of them.

Kakashi was precariously close to falling off the narrow treatment couch, but he wanted Sakura to be as comfortable as possible as he did what she had asked him to do: Hold her. That she had jeopardized her safety for him once more... it touched him. No... actually, it made him feel damn guilty. She had lived a safe life as long as he had not been in it. As soon as he had made an appearance, she had been almost raped and killed and had to worry about things not her responsibility daily. For someone as big-hearted and selfless as her to think she was useless because of him, to say she would give up and didn't want to live anymore...

Feeling despair, Kakashi buried his face in her hair. Stay as far away from me as possible, she had said. Yes, it was the only right thing to do. But the mere thought... it hurt in ways it shouldn't. He had been careful for most of his adult life not to forge emotional bonds that would jeopardize his performance as a Shinobi. Sure, he had greatly cared for his Team 7 kids as their Sensei. He would have given his life for them without a second thought if necessary. It was an honor code he lived by, it was part of his duty. But this? This was different.

A discomforting certainty was growing in him that given the wrong circumstances, he would choose to do things for Sakura that had nothing to do with duty, things that might well jeopardize the village. How had he gotten himself in such a situation? Had he ignored the warning signs?

He tightened his arms around her, hoping her shivers would stop soon. It always got worse before it got better, he was no stranger to chakra depletion himself. Using the Sharingan had thrown him into bed regularly, often for long periods of time. Nothing a bit of rest wouldn't fix, but it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience.

And then he needed to focus on something else to distract himself from thinking about the shuddering body that was pressed against his. He had tried to tell himself holding her like this was entirely innocent, like a father holding a child, but her body was no child's. It was soft and fragrant like only women's bodies were and he could try to father or Sensei-zone himself all he wanted, it did not have the desired effect.

Another trick that had backfired miserably earlier was Kakashi trying to pretend this was just a scene from one of the Icha Icha books, where the young woman was traumatized by the advances of an older man whom she considered a gross old fart. But that didn't add up either. This type of skinship would never happen to anyone but the destined couple in any Icha Icha book.

Now, he was forcing his mind to recall what she had told him about her experience in the Genjutsu. Solving riddles was an excellent way to distract yourself and this riddle was a tough one. Just like before, he felt like he was looking at the pieces of a puzzle without knowing how large the jigsaw was going to be, hence with not even a clue about how many pieces were missing.

Sakura had suggested he might have been the one to put seals in his own mind.

He indeed knew of a Fuinjutsu method that would do that: the Mind-Sealing Technique. It was used in order to suppress memories that could get in the way of difficult missions, like for example a Shinobi sent to kill somebody very close to him. It was a Forbidden Jutsu because the risks associated with it for the wielder were very high, ranging from temporary confusion to raging insanity with frequent use. That he would resort to such a technique was not impossible, but in which scenario would he seal off his own memories and then forgot about it?