Suicide Attempts

Chapter 4

January 11th

The ball game tournament. they ask me to be a pinch hitter for the softball game. I refuse and I regret it later.

Please, I want you to accept the pinch hitter request.

A tournament???? I don't remember anyone telling me that there's a tournament next week.

I fall in love with Chaewon that day.

Just when I thought I already fell in love with her. Just reading her name makes my heart beat crazily. NDJDKXKKXKXKC. I really am gay for her.

this letter is a liar smh. it says that I'm falling for her next week but in reality, I already fell in love with her sooner than the person who wrote this letter expect.

*The tournament*

today our school is having a tournament just as what the letter had said. well, a ball tournament t be exact. we are competing against other classes to be the winner.

I mean, no one wants to be the loser, right? unless you're a psycho who belongs to get locked up in the asylum, then sure.

Yena, Eunbi and I involved in the baseball or you can call it softball, whatever. yujin is in the soccer competition together with chaewon surprisingly.

at first, we didn't know chaewon would be so good in soccer especially when she looks so skinny as a stick. no offence to all of chaewon's fan club out there. but I'm speaking facts right now.

chaewon needs to actually eat more like she literally looks like someone who hasn't been eating for a year. soon, we figure the hidden talent of chaewon during the physical education period.

we were asked to separate into two different groups and compete with each other in a soccer match. we all know yujin's team is going to win since you know she's the MVP.

but the table has turned to make everyone's jaw drop. the gaze is still stuck on a certain figure who is running passionately with the ball getting kicked by her feet avoiding everyone skillfully making yujin's team lose.

she's the first person to beat yujin in soccer making her a legend. seeing her on that day, I knew straight away what's my sexuality. I'm gay for her for sure with no doubt.

while everyone is participating in an event, yuri, however, is situated at the library probably reading some manga like she always does. it wouldn't be surprising if she had brought 10 different mangas in her backpack.

since our softball competition goes last, me, yena, and also eunbi decided to walk around the court just for fun.

then, my eyes suddenly turn towards my side, at where chaewon is standing. my first instinct was to call her out. but I start to have a second thought.

but oh well. "Chaew- I mean, chae! Chaechae!" she turned towards me with a wide smile plaster on her face while waving both of her arms in the air screaming, "HEY, MINMIN!"

by then, my feet start to work on its own and find a way to run in front of chaewon. "how are you feeling, chae?" "I'm, good. why are you asking?"

"Where have you been for the past two weeks? I've been worried about you, you know?" I pout while folding both of my arms on my chest.

"Aww~~~ is our precious minmin is worried about me?" she said teasingly while pinching both of my cheeks. her smile. it looks so innocent and pure.

I wish I can picture her smile in my mind and heart so that I can look to it when I'm sad. just her smile is enough to make me smile during the hardest day of my life.

"you shouldn't make a girl worried, you know." suddenly, I feel like my feel isn't touching the ground anymore.

I realise chaewon is hugging me tightly while spinning me in the air. just a simple action like a hug is enough to make my heart beat crazily.

"chaewonie is sorry for making minmin worried about chaewonie~~~ can minmin forgive chaewonie?" chaewon said cutely while showing her that beautiful eye smile.

"YAH YAH CHAE! PUT ME DOWN!" she smiles sheepishly while saying, "not until you forgive me first."

"ok, fine. I forgive you. just promise me you won't do it again." "YAY, OKAY."

Sometimes I get confused about who is older like chaewon is obviously older by birth date but she's acting so childish. it's way different from when we first met her.

"You haven't answered my question yet," I said while looking straight into her eyes. "which part?"

"Why didn't you come to school?" she pauses for a while before answering my question. "I was ditching hehehe."

"ditching? you think this is a movie is it?" I hit her head making her pout like a baby. honestly, I feel like she's lying. I don't think she's absent because she didn't want to go to school.

I feel like there's a deep reason behind it. but I respect her decision if she doesn't want to tell me. I just need to wait for her to tell me to reason in the future. for her, I'm willing to wait.

last game of the day which is the softball competition. so far our class has been winning after a few pitching.

"Our team is winning with minju in it. you pitch like nobody else. I can tell you were on the softball team. you must have been tired after pitching so much," yena said while sitting beside me. "not at all," trying to deny all the compliment I'm receiving.

"yena, I'm going to buy some drinks for a while." I can see yena nodded her head giving me the permission to do so. I stand up dusting off the sand off my pants getting ready to walk to the vending machine.

From the distance, I saw chaewon sitting alone on one of the stool provided beside the vending machine so that students can sit while drinking peacefully.

"Chae.... what are you doing here alone?" I asked while sitting at the empty space beside chaewon. her head was swung towards me slightly shock to see me. "just relaxing. what about you?"

"getting some drinks for the others." Chaewon nodded while eyes still looking at me. "what event are you participating?" "softball."

the tip of my toes suddenly feels sore, yikes. I bet it will look like a red crater in the skin by the time I remove my shoes at home. The pain isn't too painful it just feel numb.

maybe a little massage can ease the pain a little, but I guess it caught chaewon in the eyes. "does it hurt?" if I were to describe how she sounds like right now, worried is the best answer.

"kinda. my shoes are a little bit too small." "too small?" she furrows her eyebrow. "for some reason, they got my size wrong when I ordered them."

"Why didn't you exchange them then?" "I missed my chance to bring it up." after that, it becomes silent.

not until someone shouted my name from the distance. just by how her voice sounds like I can already tell you its yena's voice. "Minju, its starting!" "well, I'm off now. see you later, change," I wave at her. "sure."

"WHAT?! THEY CHANGE THEIR PITCHER?! SHE'S ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM!"

"NO FAIR, PUTTING A PITCHER LIKE THAT IN FOR THE FINAL MATCH!"

"I NEVER GET A HIT."

"IT'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE FOR THEM. NOT FAIR!"

the baseball court suddenly became chaos as the opponent team started to catch up out points making it hard for us to catch up on them.

"TIME OUT!"