Before the Fall

Chapter Thirty-Four - Muddled

I wish I knew what Li was planning. He knew he was sending Moon's DNA. He is never caught unawares. He is always a few steps ahead of us.

Which actually bothers me a lot more than I am willing to admit.

* * *

Aster

That night I laid in my bed, my mind riddled with so many thoughts and emotions.

I was still confused how I had suddenly become okay with all of this.

Maybe I was  just in denial and it's just a nightmare I'll wake up from.

But I knew it wasn't.

I reached up and felt the ears poking out of my scalp. I can hear everything through them now. If I snap by my human ears I can tell nothing comes through them anymore. I found it feels really good to massage them. I now understand cats and dogs a lot more.

Surprisingly, I had managed to not close my tail in a door yet. I was keenly aware of it being back there, but really felt like just another arm or leg.

I'm just glad I haven't sprouted whiskers.

Curling up in my bed, I tried to sleep, but thoughts of Xander fill my head. Somehow, his absence has become more tolerable. He's gone and I can't dwell on it. My arms still ache for him, but I know they will never hold him again.

A dimpled smiling face slowly replaces Xander's and I curl into myself, frowning in shame.

It's too soon.

No questions about it.

"Aster?"

I hear the doctor's voice through the glass.

Sitting up I watched him walk in with a tray, glass of water, a syringe, and a small bottle on it.

I felt my ears go down. "Again?" I almost whimpered.

He looked a bit troubled but I watched him quickly put on a small smile.

"I'm truly sorry, but once this whole thing is started it has to be finished. You could die if we don't finish the courses of treatment. I think we're all too invested in you now for that to happen," he said softly, setting the tray on the small table in my room.

I breathed out a small sigh and rolled up my sleeves. "I have no desire to die at the moment, so go ahead. Not like you need my permission anyway."

Doctor Park sat down beside me on the bed and pinched a bit of my upper arm muscle.

"On the count of three," he said, poising the needle above my skin.

"Three," I laughed nervously, looking away as he jabbed it in, more quickly this time than the first one he had given me.

He muttered a sorry and stood up, his leopard tail swaying slowly behind him. The doctor was always more smooth and definitive in his gestures. It was amazing how his feline DNA had influenced his own movements.

I wondered if that same thing happened to me or would happen. "Doctor Park?"

"Hmm?" He hummed as he handed me the glass of water.

I held it, looking down into it. I slowly swirled it, watching it move and turn. "Will I become more like a cat? Like, not just in appearance, but actions?"

Doctor Park looked thoughtful and then shrugged. "Depends on how your body responds to the DNA."

"Will I be able to fully shift?" Even as horrific as that sounded to my logical human mind, I also found the ability fascinating.

"Definitely not. Moon never was able to. No, that ability is reserved. Sorry, Aster."

"Oh."

"Do you need anything? I would lay down if I were you. This isn't a heavy dose but you might get a bit woozy from it."

He was right because I already felt my head swimming a little. I laid down and wrapped my tail around my middle. "I would say thank you but I'm not entirely sure what I should be thanking you for," I said, yawning and feeling increasingly tired.

He never gave a response but I didn't care. I wasn't even awake when he left.

* * *

Namjoon

"We've done enough planning for tonight, Joon. Let's call it a night."

I stood next to the window behind my desk and slowly made my way to the large dead tree in the corner of my office. It had a thick and heavy branch that seemed to be made just for a large cat's lounging spot. The branch was broken at the end, leaving it rough and jagged. My fingers caressed the sharp points, a frown etching itself in my face.

"I don't think we can ever be fully prepared for a visit from Li," I muttered, my fingers dancing slowly across the rough wood.

Jin sighed and walked over beside me. "Why do you keep this here? It's history is too painful, in my opinion."

"It reminds me. Reminds me of what we fight for."

"Don't you think it's hard for the others to see?"

"They need to be reminded as well. No one has said anything about it for years now anyway."

"Mm. It's your choice."

"It is." I sighed again and turned a tired smile to my friend. "Go home, Jin. You're right, it's late. We can reconvene in the morning. Get some sleep. You've earned it." I clapped a hand on his shoulder and walked back to my desk, straightening up all the loose papers.

"You get some sleep too, General. You've worried enough for one day." Jin's voice was soft and kind, his empathetic side showing.

When the door closed behind him, I walked over, turning out the lights and locking the door. I wanted some time to think. No one would know I was here. No one could just walk in.

I heard the business of the camp dissipate and darkness settled in.

As moonlight streamed in through my window, I shifted, leaving my uniform in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Padding over to the tree, I launched myself up onto the cursed branch and settled down on it, resting my whiskers against my paw.

I watched the moonlight slowly move across the window, thoughts of Li, my brothers, a white cat, and a beautiful little hybrid muddled together in my head, and when I could no longer fight it, I closed my eyes in sleep.