Bad Boy

Bad Boy- Chapter Sixteen

Jerry sat alone on the bleachers in front of the track. Mike and Sean had ditched class, and of course Jerry was invited, but he wasn't really in the mood to skip today.

He watched as Layne climbed up the bleachers, completely ignoring Jerry's existence, and sitting opposite side from him.

Jerry sighed. He knew he needed to talk to Layne. He felt completely awful for the way he had treated him. Jerry couldn't understand what was wrong with him. Since Layne left, Jerry was left with a dull, lonely feeling in his heart.

Go talk to him. Just let your heart pour out.

It was hard.

Jerry looked up at Layne. The way the sunlight hit him, it made him look like an angel. Sweet, gentle, and pure. His pale skin looked soft and lovely, as his eyes sparkled like crystal clear water.

"If you miss someone, you talk to them." Jerry remembered what Eddie told him.

It took a lot of courage, but Jerry stood up, and walked over to Layne. Layne looked ahead, not bothering to look up at Jerry.

"Hey." Jerry spoke.

"I don't really want to talk to you." Layne said, still not looking at him. Jerry sat down beside him.

"Well, I need to talk to you. Will you just hear me out, please?" Jerry asked. Layne didn't say anything. Instead, he sighed, and finally looked at Jerry.

"Layne... look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, and using you. I admit it, I did, I messed with your emotions, but it... it wasn't really my intentions."

"Not your intentions?" Layne asked, sort of in a smart way.

"Okay, Layne, I admit it. I have feelings for you. Feelings I can't explain. Really, I know it's cheesy, but I didn't know what I had until you were gone. I miss you, I really do. I miss you lying next to me at night. I miss your comfort and warmth. I miss your sweet smile, and your laugh, when I would say something you thought was funny. Fuck, I even miss taking you to work, and miss hearing you bitch about your coworkers. I miss your kisses, and your little touches and... I even miss you trying to cuddle up to me."

"That's sweet, Jerry, but I-"

"I'm not good with letting my emotions out, Layne. I know, I am an asshole, but on the inside, I'm just a broken, worthless, piece of shit. The reason I left home... I... I had a little sister, Layne. She was never healthy and she... she ended up passing away. It was so hard. Just to walk around the house, and think of her running up to me and hugging my legs. After that happened, my parents were rough on me. They were always complaining about me failing classes, about me never getting a job, but I was depressed. I could barely even get the energy to get out of bed."

"Oh, Jerry. I'm so sorry... I didn't know that."

Jerry shook his head. "I'm fine now. I mean, I'll never completely be over it, but I'm better now. And it's okay, Layne. I am a piece of shit. I hurt you, and all you ever tried to do was be there for me, no matter how much I hurt your feelings."

Layne shrugged. "It's okay, Jerry. Don't worry about it."

Jerry sighed. "It's just... weird, you know."

"What?"

Jerry bit his lip. "Layne, I fell in love once, and I was hurt so deep by him. He snuck around behind my back and would mess around with other dudes. I guess... that's why I'm a little skeptical on love. I thought, if I wasn't good enough for him, I'd never be good enough for anyone, and I was so scared of getting hurt again."

"I understand." Layne said softly.

"But I... I can tell you're different. You're not like that."

Layne smiled, a soft little smile, and it nearly made Jerry's heart melt. Jerry took Layne's hand in his, and laced their fingers together. For a moment, Jerry looked down at their hands, and then looked up to Layne's eyes.

"I'll change," Jerry said, "I'll be a man, Layne. I'll be the best I can be to you. I won't... hurt you. I'll stay loyal to you. Just, please... come back home with me and the guys."

Layne couldn't stop smiling. It almost made him want to cry tears of joy. He slowly nodded his head at Jerry.

"Alright. Yeah, I'll come back."

Jerry smiled. "Really?"

"Really."

Jerry chuckled out of happiness. "Good. I'll come by after school and help you bring your stuff back."

Layne smiled. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

"Letting your feelings out. Finally."

Jerry laughed. "It was probably the damn hardest thing I've done, but I knew I had to talk to you eventually. I couldn't hold that in forever."

"I knew you had a soft side." Layne said, leaning in for another kiss. Jerry rolled his eyes, and smiled.

* * *

Nights were long, cold, and lonely. At least, they were for Chris. He had Eddie on his mind all day, especially since Eddie wasn't at school. Chris missed him, and it almost felt like a stabbing pain in his chest.

He knew he shouldn't be missing Eddie this much. He had grown close to Eddie, and was very very fond of him.

Chris hugged tightly onto his pillow. He could hear his dad downstairs tossing things around. Chris couldn't help it, but he hated his dad. He hated the house, since he had to share it with his dad. He wanted to get away from there. He wanted to run away. But he didn't want to leave Eddie.

Eddie made Chris feel protected. He made Chris feel like everything was okay, even though they weren't okay. Eddie made Chris' fears disappear.

Chris couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes. He wanted Eddie so bad. He could almost feel his arms around him again. Those warm, strong arms. He wanted every part of Eddie. He wanted his love, his flaws, his fears, his insecurities, everything.

This is hell. I can't take anymore.
I have to tell him how I feel.
But if he doesn't feel the same, it will ruin our friendship.
But Eddie would understand.
Would he understand? What if he hates me after I tell him? What if he thinks I'm weird?

I can do it. I can tell him. He might feel the same. If I don't tell him, I'll never know.

No, I can't tell him.
I have to tell him.
What do I do?

Chris sighed. He felt pathetic, laying in bed, crying. He wiped his tears, and slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position. Out of the nightstand, Chris pulled out his cigarettes and lighter. He took a long drag, as his mind continued with storms of Eddie.