CHAPTER #10

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WARNING! WARNING! SPG HAS BEEN DETECTED

a/n: I'm really sorry for not updating this book for too long. I got too busy after the announcement of a passer and praise God because I passed my Licensure exam. Anyway, the Italic part of this book will be a flashback so please don't be confused about that part, 'kay. And just like what I've promised this chapter is too long so bear with me.



#NaLuStories #ExBoyfriendToHusband #KhiegilsanStories #Forgiveness



P.S Please if you're going to write a comment or feedback about this chapter, please include #LucyForgiveness in your comment. Thank you so much



"You know what Lucy... Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better"



I don't know why but I keep on thinking about what she had said to me. I knew for myself that even I think about it over and over again - my mind will refuse to start creating something better with him. Yes, my mind is too stubborn but my heart is not.



I know deep inside my heart I'm still in love with Natsu. I knew it... I'm just too damn scared about getting hurt again after what happened to us.



I close my eyes tightly as the scenario that I tried to forget flashes before my eyes - torturing me all over again.



I ARCH my body as he took one peak in his mouth, swirling his tongue as I hold on him tight. His hands travel down my body, his touch sending tingles of warmth on my skin. I shiver with delight whine his hand found its destination.





I don't know if I'm doing the right decision. Maybe it will just mess up things more. Maybe nothing will change. But I don't want to regret this moment... not when I've been waiting for this for a long time.



The very first time I laid my eyes on him - I knew from that moment that this man is the one for me - which he is the one who destined for me. Maybe some people might think that I'm so foolish to believe in destiny. But I know better. I know what I feel, I know my own heart. I don't need to do this if it's just something that I got used to. I can choose men that swarm around me. But I don't want to... Because I only want one person in my life and that is... him...





...



Natsu Dragneel.



Our eyes lock for a moment - there's nothing in his eyes but desire. He has no control. I made him this way, or should I say, the alcohol made him this way?



With one swift thrust, he entered me. A gasp escapes my lips as I felt pain rippled my body. I readied myself for his brutal thrust but he didn't move. Instead, I felt his warm breath on my neck.





"Are you okay?"





"Y-Yes"





He waited for me to adjust and when my tense body relaxes, he started to move. He keeps a distinct rhythm, my body moving with him as if I've done this for ages. My body convulses with tremors of sensations as I reach my climax over and over again. A few more thrust and he followed. He growled and push deep inside me as his length spasm with a release that sends me to the edge once again.







I DIDN'T want to remember it. I tried so hard to stop myself from remembering our past. Sometimes, I tried to distract myself from work but now that I'm here in this place - distracting myself from it is impossible or sometimes I just let it passed in my head like it's just part of thoughts that are running in my head. I don't let myself think about that night that much. That moment when I felt that I was enough for him - that he will be contented with me.







Everything was just so simple back then. All I dreamed was to have him, to notice me, to love me. I was so happy.







I shook my head trying to remove all those things that run through my head. I don't want to remember it. I hate it... please... stop coming back...







A sobs escape from my lips when I failed to forget it.







A SMILE formed in my lips when I open my eyes. Sunshine is practically shining in the entire room but what really makes me happy is the thing that happened between us last night. I don't think I could forget it...







I turned my body to check his face while sleeping but my smile that flustered in my face soon to vanish when I've seen nothing but a blanket and pillow. I slowly pull myself to sit and let my eyes traveled in the entire place.











I sigh, and then pick up my clothes that scattered on a floor. The moment I stepped out in the room - I've seen my friend name Loki Lion "Are you going out to eat your breakfast?" he asks me.





I shook my head and smile to him "I'm looking for Natsu... did you happened to see him?" He pauses for a moment "I think I saw him in the pool area."







I smile at him widely and excuse myself. The moment I arrived in the pool area - my heart instantly pierce by the thousands of knife. A tear escape on my eyes, my mind is not thinking properly. It feels like my mind stops the moment I saw them making out.





My mouth parted as saw him smile as the girl pushed him in the chair as they continue kissing each other. I clench my fist and to save myself from so much misery I run... run away from then, run as fast I can to save a tiny part of heart from being broken.







I don't want to see them... I don't know what to do... I don't know what to say... I don't understand what's happening... maybe Natsu has an explanation about it. Yeah! Natsu will explain everything... I knew that he loves me just like how much love him.





Day after day I heard nothing to him... he never came from me to say or explain his side until one day, I accidentally overheard them with that girl...





"Oh, Lucy?"



"Yeah, I thought you had a girlfriend."





"It was just a good fucked. I enjoyed it very much" he says to the girl before kissing her, "Besides, I like you, Jane."





I bit my lower lips as I walked away... definitely making sure that I won't cross my path with them. My heart hardened like its protecting me from him... making me feel numb. I'm such a fool to believe that Natsu Dragneel destined to be with me. I smile bitterly... I never thought that one day I will regret loving him... I regret giving my heart to someone who doesn't deserve it even a tiny bit.







NOW tell me how could you forgive someone who never says he's sorry to you not even once? I know I should forget it... I know that it is all in the past but my heart can't just let go because I wanted to start a new life... even I wanted to forget my feelings towards that guy... my heart... I know deep inside my heart...





I was still hoping that Natsu and I will be together.

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