Ps. I ♥ You //5SOS//

Luke

He's with Kylie again. Fuck her." I mumbled, stuffing my face with ice cream.

My free hand was on the mouse, scrolling over YouTube videos.

I paused, glancing down at my arms.

I stared at my wrists.

Clean

Bare

Calum doesn't have razors....

My eyes darted to the pair of scissors on the table.

I leaned over and grabbed them, splitting the two blades and aligning the sharp tip with my wrist.

I slowly press on it, feeling the tip as it penetrated my skin.

I was so close to drawing blood until it was ripped away from my hands and thrown out of my reach.

"Why the fuck did you do that?!" I screamed at him.

I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes.

"Luke-" i cut him off.

"Can't you see, I want to die. He likes Kylie Jenner. He likes Kylie fucking Jenner. The girl who has a hair dye obsession. Like him. The girl who betrayed him back in highschool." I lay back onto the bed, the tears sliding off my face.

"Luke. You can't, I need you. Please... I can't do this without you. Don't be like this." He cried. "Ashton's done with me, Luke. If you die, i'll go with you."

I looked at him.

"If you killed yourself, i would feel so guilty." I whispered.

"Thats why you shouldn't do it. If you don't then I won't." he lay down beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "You're beautiful, you can't cry. Beautiful people should be happy."

I turned away from him, hiding the red tomato that was my face.

"Shut up, Calum." I felt the corners of my twitch up.

"Lukey, are you heating up??" He teased, pulling my body closer to his.

"Godammit, Calum." My face turned an even darker shade of red.

The door opens and we freeze.

"Look Calum, I'm so-" the person stops talking.

Calum and I immediately jump off the bed, turning to face the person who just walked through the door.

"Really, Calum. Luke?" Ashton asked, annoyance written all over his features.

"No... No. It's not what it looks like." Calum protested.

"Nope, I don't want to hear it." Ashton was about to turn away.

But then... a side of Calum that we rarely got to see made an appearance.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin. You will fucking listen to me because unlike you, I have an actual fucking explanation for what I do." He shouted.

Ashton turned around to face a Calum.

"Explain, then." He said.

"You want to know why I was cuddling Luke? Because he was going to kill himself, AGAIN. But you don't care do you. Who's the one who always came home at midnight because he's been trying to find Luke? ME. You probably didn't give two fucks when he went missing. But I was worried, and if feelings could kill a person, I would have died from overwhelming worry. When I found Luke, I was so happy because I thought my bestfriend had gone forever. I've been so frustrated because you won't admit that you were wrong, I already have so much shit to deal with. You were so mad with me but I didn't do anything. I saw you kiss that girl and a couple others and it just fucking hurts like a bitch because I love you so damn much. If you think I would have run off to be happy go lucky with Luke, you must really not trust me if you are crazy enough to think that because Luke is my bestfriend and my brother. Besides, he likes Michael. But if Luke died, I would never forgive myself and I'd probably go join him. But you, you're my everything, my number one, my fantasy, my forever, my escape and... it's taking all my will power to deny the fact that I want to kiss the fuck out of right now it's just... ohgod.. I can't function right anymore and.... I r-" Ashton planted his lips on Calum's, effectively shutting him up.

They were making out....

It was really awkward and I needed to leave before...

"Yeah... I'll jus-" Calum cut me off.

"Get out Luke." He attached his face back to Ashton's as clothes had begun to come off.

I left the room, locking the door for them.

Now where to go?

My room?

I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

I walked into my room, closing the door behind me.

Maybe... I should write another letter.

Plopping down at my desk, I picked up my pen, a piece of paper and another blue envelope.

Letter 15.....