'I remember the day you told me you needed me and the next day, i woke up and you were gone. I have always wondered why.'
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Micah Underwood and Damon Salvatore were together for five years before Da...
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『26 Salvatore Boarding house, Mystic Falls, Virginia April 6th, 2005
DEAR DAMON,
I don't know how to write these, but my mother tells me writing about how I felt would make me feel better.
She says it's better to keep a journal of my life to look back on. . . To cope. But I don't think I should write these because what I am about to do isn't something I want to look back on.
There's a high chance that my plan will get me killed. I know you'll mope about my death, evermore vowing to bring me back from whatever hell I'll end up.
I would rather you not meddle in things you know nothing about.
This is usually the part where you would say, 'Micah, you love me. That's so mean of you.' Before asking me who we have to kill first.
I always tell you that my entire life has been from one darkness after another. Nothing ever works out for me. I mean... you left, for whatever reason, you left. I know for a fact, it wasn't about the dishwasher or the other thing you refuse to give me an answer to.
Did you know I waited moons for you to walk through those doors? I would sit by the front of the porch every night, in hopes of you walking through the door, and kissing me so hard, I would see stars.
But that never happened.
I wanted you to tell me how much you loved me. Or sneak into my training habitat, asking what my next mission was and who I wanted help killing.
I spend My days and nights with a bottle of Vodka. One strong enough to get me drunk. Strong enough to withstand the pain of rereading your goodbye letter over and over again. While trying to understand why?
Why did you leave so fucking suddenly?
At times, I think to myself. I should have told him how happy he made me, how he gave me a love life without regret.
My first and only love.
My love, Damon fucking Salvatore.
We lived a life without regret, but the truth was, there is always something to regret. I regret driving you insane with the idea that keeping you out of the loop meant you would be safe. Maybe.
But, your safety will always come first to me.
I know you hate when I try to talk you out of things. You would say, "*You don't control me.*'
I know that.
I've always known that.
In your letter, you promised to stay out of The Organisation's way, as I always instructed. You once said, you didn't want The Organisation on your back, so you were subtle. I never thought you were much of a problem to begin with. Not according to The Organization. You were always seen as a loose end.
A loose end.
Hmm.
Very interesting.
I guess what I am trying to sum up is. Yesterday, when I was a little lucid. I came back from The Organisation and I read your letter once again. You know, there's a saying about how clear your head can be when you stop and think.
When I was in school for training. My mentor made me write my name in many languages many times until it was written to perfection. He would make me write until my hands were cramped. But, my point is— Yesterday, after a long day, I wanted to have a bath.
So I picked up your letter to read again. That was when it became clear to me.
That was when your code word 'PAINSTAKING' became clearer than ever.
Painstaking was our code word for danger. Anything red flag. That got me thinking. Someone wanted you out of the way. Someone forced you from my life. Sure, I was paranoid, but now my eyes were open. Painstaking isn't a word you use unless there's danger lurking, and we've had many amiss of dangers.
If you were standing before me— at first, I would joke to ease you. Perhaps, to ease me of this revelation— a semi-revelation.
And oh, it gets juicy.
I received a birthday present from someone unknown. The head of a vampire, the very same vampire I lost track of five years ago.
You sent me that. And he had a little message written on his forehead in blood.
'Don't find me.'
I got your message Loud and clear, Damon Salvatore.
Now this is my message.
I will not stop until I get answers. Until the truth reveals itself.
This time, it's my turn to painstake our new enemy.
