Something New

34

"Knock knock." I lift my head up and see Akoni standing by my door. He sends me a small smile and holds a tray in his hands. "Mum says breakfast is ready and she wanted me to bring it up to you."

"Thanks, but I'm not very hungry." I say, bringing my blankets back up my chin before I roll over so my back is to him. I hear Akoni set down the tray and shut my eyes to try and fall back asleep.

"Lee." My eyes opens when I hear his voice behind me. I hum but keep my back to him, instead feel the bed dip where he's crawled onto it.

Akoni wraps his arms around me and I take ahold of his hand, fighting the tears and lump in my throat. "I know it's hard but you should eat for your baby's sake."

I don't reply and Akoni speaks again. "If it makes you feel any better, dad cooked waffles you're favourite." There's a hint of enthusiasm in his voice. "With strawberries and cream, he even gave you extra because he knows you love it so much."

"I'm not hungry Akoni." Is all I make out. "I'll eat later."

"Lee when you say later, you mean never-"

"Akoni I don't want the fucking food." I snap.

"Okay then, at least I tried." He mumbles and sighs. "Don't worry, Lee. It'll get easier."

There's a pause and I feel him give me one last squeeze before his presence is gone.

My door shuts and a sob escapes my mouth. I whimper and bring my hand to my mouth, sobbing into my palm. My eyes shut and I curl into a ball, soaking my pillows with my cries and sobs.

I hate this week so much.

+++++

"Sweetheart." I don't reply to Aunty Onika and hear her sigh.

"Honey, we just want to talk to you." Uncle Derrick says. "And Akoni isn't mad at you for earlier, he understands that you didn't mean it."

"Lee." I hear them walk around to my bed, where I hide my tear stained cheeks and red eyes with my blanket. "Honey, we understand that you don't want to talk and that's completely fine." Aunty Onika tells me and I feel her hand on my knotted hair and hear her sigh. "But please can you eat something, even if it's just something small."

"For the baby, just so the baby is getting some food." Uncle Derrick adds. "You know that it wouldn't be fair to not let your baby eat." I slowly drop my blanket and stare at their sympathetic faces as they see the mess that I am.

I'm so sick of people pitying me

"I'm not hungry." I say when my phone rings. I glance over and see Zac's name appear on my screen. I reach over and switch off my phone. I've been ignoring his calls and messages all day. I look back at my uncle and aunt.

Uncle Derrick takes a seat at the end of my bed, resting his hand on my leg for comfort that I don't want. "Lee, I don't know how you're feeling or I can't imagine how tough this week will be for you but you have to consider the health of your baby."

I carefully sit up, growing frustrated with my bump making things difficult. "Uncle Derrick, I'm not-"

"You might not be hungry, but it's been almost a whole day and you haven't left this bed to eat once." He tells me in a calm voice, with his arm around me. "So please for the baby, can you just eat and drink something."