The Sass Awards 2019-Reviews & Interviews Book ✔

Horror/Paranormal Finalist-EvenStar606

EvenStar606- Shire Bottom Chronicles

Title: 5/5

When it comes to marketable titles, this one is the best in the category--at least for my preferences. It is simple and at the same time, all-encompassing. I love when an author is able to encapsulate a large idea and intricate plot into the perfect phrase. It admittedly does evoke images of Hobbits and Elves and lots of greenery, but it also sets up the idea that you're going to tell the reader an epic tale. People would pick up this book based on the title alone.

Blurb: 9/10

I didn't know who the writer of your blurb was when I read it, because my initial judging of the blurbs happened with my boyfriend reading them each to me. I really wanted to be able to give this blurb a perfect score, because it encapsulates the right level of information and intrigue almost perfectly. However, the grammar mistakes in such a short piece are obvious. Unneeded ellipsis or em-dashes are distracting, and there's really never any reason to begin sentences with "But". If you clean up the minor grammar and punctuation issues and remove the awards/recognitions from your blurb, you'll get consistently perfect scores on this blurb. (unless you have won the biggest and most impressive honour out there, awards and rankings are best located inside the book. On a published book, you'll rarely see anyone saying "Winner of..." or "2nd place in" unless it's a Pulitzer, Newberry, or the like.) The writer of your blurb is a talented author who knows what is marketable, and that certainly gives you an edge.

Cover: 5/5 

The 1940's and early 1950's were a great time for Paranormal, Thriller, and things that had people on the edge of their seats. It was the era of Gaslight, and the suspense even extended to the young adult market in the form of Nancy Drew solving mysteries. The cover of this is reminiscent of the style of those old covers with the creepy graveyard, the haunted gates, the abandoned clock tower, the figure by the lake. It's so encapsulating of that era, it's a bit jarring to see the modern silhouette there inside that classic haunting cover. Nevertheless, it is completely genre appropriate and aesthetically pleasing.

Plot: 18/20

This plot was really a fun read, particular the story about the family tragedy that led to the deaths and haunting of the house in the beginning. As a lover of Historical Fiction, the way that legend was worked into the story was honestly one of my favourite parts. The plot moves along at a very steady pace and there aren't places where it drags or the reader might decide to simply put it down. It's such a fast read that a reader can easily read the whole thing in one sitting. I'm not personally one of those people who minds when there are large blocks of narrative rather than action. I am criticised for it in my own work, but I don't believe relaying backstories is "info-dumping". The concern you express in Chapter Three is unwarranted, because action should ebb and flow. The audience on Wattpad skews younger and are often demanding of constant action, but that's not necessarily the sign of a well-written book. Sometimes, the reader is in fact "told" a story and not "shown", and that is not a failing. Learning the backstory of something or someone can be a wonderful place to add foreshadowing or other small details. I also loved that you co-wrote Chapter 1 with your niece. The writing style in her section did in fact sound younger, and lent an authenticity to teenagers speaking. Yet, that didn't necessarily line up with the fact the protagonist was, in fact, a 20-something. Nevertheless, it was cute! Some of the plot twists and reveals were well-executed, such as the scene at the end of Chapter Three.

Characterisation: 17/20 

Characterisation in this story is solid, though in many ways, I felt as if I wanted a deeper understanding of the main characters. While the characterisation was strong, it lacked the depth and emotional appeal that makes a reader invest in a character rather than simply enjoy the story. While you ideally want both, it's the first that defines characterisation, the art of creating characters that leap off the page. The most vibrant characterisation was actually told through the legend in Chapter One, where either the grief or madness of Catherine comes through loud and clear. In many ways, I felt as if this were a work of Teen Fiction rather than truly a supernatural story. In that genre, some things that I don't personally feel add to character or world-building (for instance, relaying texts within a story) are more appropriate. I enjoyed your characters but I did not "feel" them, something that isn't necessary for all readers--but is always something that enhances writing for me. I think the reason is that there were so many characters all introduced with the span of a few chapters, so we didn't get to know any of them as well as we might. This is definitely a plot-oriented tale rather than a character-driven story.

Creativity/Originality: 9/10

This is one of the more creative and original works I had the honour of reading during this competition. It has a whimsical and childlike spirit of adventure and mystery that's hard to resist, which is one of the reasons I feel like both the characters and intended audience are younger than they are. It's not a difficult read, but it's an enjoyable one. The plot and characters are not quite as well-developed as I'd normally prefer, but that's a usual consequence of stories that are fast-paced in nature. At the same time, I can't say I've read anything exactly like this story. That's a truly unique facet of anything *anyone* writes on Wattpad, and I applaud you for your imaginative concept. I'd love to see you try your hand at the YA Fantasy genre in the future. There may just be a Harry Potter lurking in your head somewhere. ;)

Spelling/Grammar: 13/15 

Ah, the comma is possibly the bane of every writer's existence, and this book is no exception. The spelling and grammar is in good shape in this story, at least on the basic level where it comes to those simple mistakes that make you cringe. (If you're like me, it's because you think everyone should be required to know the difference between "your" and "you're"--and not everyone does!) However, you make some specific errors repeatedly. Most of them have to with when you do/do not need commas. As someone who also suffers from this issue, I will say that Grammarly has done wonders for me in teaching me not to split infinitives or comma splice sentences. ;) There are a few errors that also made for odd capitalisations, sentence fragments left all alone in the wild, and ellipsis where ellipsis shall not travel! There is nothing major to work on in this category or anything terribly off-putting. It simply needs a strong edit for grammar and punctuation.

Enjoyability: 5/5

One of the wonderful things about this book, and a reason I believe it has a very bright future ahead, is that it's genuinely fun to read. Many paranormal books are dark and heavy, and either take a turn toward the tragic or veer the other direction, ending up Horror-adjacent. This is story is a bit of a unicorn--- a paranormal story that's fun in the traditional sense. Most in this category are enjoyable because they're deep, creepy, or downright terrifying. The young adventurers and legends presented here are reminiscent of movies from childhood sleepovers, filled with suspense but hardly terrifying or depicting the horrific side of life. There's an innocence about this book that makes me describe it as "charming". I didn't expect it to be my cup of tea on a personal level, but I think most people will enjoy this story. It's very marketable for publishing in the future.

Literary Devices: 4/5 

The tone of your writing leans toward appealing to younger audiences. It is modern and colloquial. Even when you're busy describing things, there's a very light-handed approach that doesn't overwhelm the writing with modifiers and metaphors. One of the things that makes this book feel enjoyable for a certain audience is that it manages to be suitably descriptive without sacrificing a sense of simplicity and accessibility. There aren't many literary devices at play and the story isn't heavily descriptive, but when it is, it's just enough. There are points where I'd add a few similes and metaphors just to spice up the writing and to make the story more immersive.

Descriptive Writing: 4/5

As I noted above, this is a piece that makes use of descriptive writing but doesn't rely too heavily on it. It strikes the perfect balance for younger readers and those who want an enjoyably creepy tale that is also an easy read. The only note I have is that you have tendency to use two adjectives in a row when the passages get descriptive. Considering that you don't take an overwhelmingly descriptive tone in the telling of the story, try finding that one modifier that's strong and active enough to replace two. Some people write in such a way where multiple modifiers sound natural, but in your work, it's something that pops up as "a piece that doesn't quite fit.". All in all, this is a charming piece of fiction that will be a hit with younger audiences. I believe you have a niche with your writing that you should definitely explore more in the future, because it's trending and marketable. Very nice work, and I look forward to great things from this book!

Total: 89/100