Promise I'm Trying

~twenty one (pilots)~

At lunch the next day (Monday btw)

"Where's Jish?" Tyler asked.

"He left second period, but he didn't wanna tell you until lunch 'cause he wanted you to wait until afterschool to see him. Also he wanted me to give you this." Ryan said handing Tyler a bag of baby carrots. Tyler opened it and started eating one because he knew that's what Josh wanted.

"I-I'm s-sorry" Tyler stuttered.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I-I-I-" Tyler inhaled sharply, "I need J-Josh."

"You're having a panic attack, Tyler, let's go in the hall, away from all these people." Ryan said, "Can Brendon come?" Tyler nodded.

The three walked into the hallway and sat down, tyler leaning against the wall, "Okay, I need you to breathe." Brendon said. Tyler took some shakey breaths as his whole body shook, "Do you wanna call Josh?" Brendon asked and Tyler nodded.

Brendon took out his phone and facetimed Josh, "What the fuck is happening?"

"Hey Josh, Tyler is having a panic attack and he only wants you." Brendon said. 

"Hey Ty, look at me, you're gonna be okay, you just gotta breathe okay?" Tyler nodded and breathed with Josh. 

"I j-just wanna h-hug you"

"I know baby, you just gotta breath for me, alright?" Tyler breathed in and focused on Josh.

"I-I-I-I c-can't, J-J-Jo-Josh, I-I-I n-nee-need y-y-y-yo-you."

"Brendon, you gotta help me out here!" Josh said holding back tears. He felt powerless not being able to hold him close.

"What do you want me to do?" Brendon asked, wanting to help any way he could.

"Have Tyler lean against you and listen to your heartbeat."

"Okay." Brendon helped Tyler lean against him and listen to his heartbeat. This helped a little but he was still violently shaking and struggling to breath.

"Josh it's not working," Brendon said.

"Okay, Tyler? How can I help you?"

"I-I need y-y-you"

"Brendon?" Josh asked, "Would it be possible for you to drive him to my house?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Bren, I gotta go to class" Ryan said.

"That's okay, I know you're struggling in bio, go, I love you,"

"Love you too, feel better Tyler"

"Okay Josh, we're on our way."

"Thank you so much, Bren, you have no idea how much this means to me,"

"It's fine, really,"

"J-Josh?" Tyler stuttered

"Yeah?"

"I-I'm s-s-sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you can't help it! I love you," Josh said in a calming, quiet voice.

Tyler relaxed a bit at those words, "I-I love you t-too,"

"We're here"' Brendon said with a smile as he helped Tyler out of the car. Josh opened the door and ran to Tyler. He hugged him and brought him inside, but not before thanking Brendon.

Lying on the couch with a shaking Tyler in his arms, Josh bagan to try to calm Tyler, "Hey baby, I need you to breath for me, okay?" Tyler nodded, but still struggled. "Ty, I'm right here, I got you,"

Josh leaned down to kiss Tyler on the lips causing him to instantly relax. He melted into the kiss and it was all he could focus on. 

Josh pulled away first, "You okay, baby? That was scary."

"I-I'm sorry. I-I'll just go, I'm f-fine."

"No! C'mon Ty, don't go. Let's go upstairs and cuddle in my bed okay?" Tyler nodded.

Tyler followed behing and layed down in Josh's bed, "Hey Ty?" Josh asked, "Do you know what caused the panic attack?"

"Y-yeah, I was eating a-and they were looking at m-me and I just... I-I'm s-sorry," Tyler said, a few tear slipping down his face.  

"You don't have to be sorry Ty! I love you, It's gonna be okay," Josh said hugging Tyler and pulling the blanket over them. Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler, "It's gonna be okay, really,"

"J-Josh?"

"Yea?"

"I-I just, I'm really s-sorry,"

"Hey, it's okay, you did'n-"

"N-no" Tyler said cutting him off, "You always are taking care of me! How are you? Are you doing okay?!" Tyler asked trying not to break down.

"Tyler, it's okay, I'm fine!"

"No, tell me more, I wanna know everthing! I wanna help you too!"

"Um... well really I'm okay"

"Why did you leave today?"

"I just needed a break," Josh said

"From what? Please tell me,"

"I was just stressed and needed a break,"

"Why were you stressed?"

"I was was worried about you and my sister, it's fine"

"You don't need to worry about me. What's wrong with your sister?"

"I'm gonna worry about you! And ashley has this boyfriend who really wants sex and she won't admit it, but she's not ready"

"I'm sorry, but I'm sure it'll be okay"

"Yea, I hope so"

"I really love you" Tyler said.

"I love you too" Josh said snuggling closer to Tyler.

(786 words) Hey! I haven't updated in forever sorry!!! I didn't forget about it, I just had writer's block and was lazy!! Sorry!! Stay Happy, Stay heathy, Stay Happy, Stay Hydrated, and Stay Alive |-/

~Lily