Promise I'm Trying

~seven~

Trigger Warning

When they arribed at Josh's house, no one was home.

"Where is everyone?" Tyler asked.

"They're all hanging at friends houses and my mom's at work,"

"okay,"

"Let's go to my room and hang out. We can work on songs or we can just talk."

"We can just talk. I know what you wanna know about and even though I don't really want to talk about it, I don't want secrets between us."

"I don't want secret either, but I don't want you to tell me anything you're not ready to tell me."

"I-I'm ready... for you to know. No one else though."

"Okay,"

~~~

Tyler nervously fidgeted, sitting on Josh's bed. He felt his breathing quicken and tried to take deep breaths, but it wasn't working. 

"Deep breaths, it's okay," Josh said, sitting next to Tyler, "Remember, don't tell me anything if you don't want to."

"I do. I want to tell you!"

"Alright, I'm listening. What's up?"

"Okay, so um... I used to live i-in California, but I moved because my d-dad got a new job. My mom made us leave right away because s-she didn't like that there were bullies at my old school."

"I'm sorry about that Ty,"

"N-no, there were only a few people who were mean to me. I was pretty popular too. I was captian of the basketball team a-and I had a girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"

"Y-yeah, she made me realize I never want a girlfriend ever again." Tyler said, "Anyways, I was doing great in school and my life was fine, but each day I noticed myself just feeling sad for no reason. I just didn't care a-and I-I-I"

Tyler began to breath quickly as a few tears ran down his cheeks.

"Shh... I'm here for you. I'm right here,"

"I hate it!" Tyler choked out.

"What? C'mon breath. Talk to me."

"Me. My-my body a-a-and m-my m-mind!"

"Hey, shh, I'm here. I want you to breath before you tell me anything else."

~~~

After about five minutes of deep breathing and Josh humming to calm Tyler, he spoke again.

"I didn't have control."

"What do you mean?" Josh asked.

"I-I don't um..."

"Tyler talk to me,"

"I-I don't like food."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't eat."

"Do you eat now?"

"I-I-I um..." a tear rolled down Tyler's cheek.

"Tyler," Josh said, looking Tyler looking in the eyes, "I need you to eat for me."

"I-I can't"

"Yes you can. If I bring you lunches at school, can you try to eat them?"

"I-I can't, a-and I'm vegetarian."

"I can make you vegetarian lunches then,"

"I can't eat, Josh!" Tyler yelled.

"Why? I need you to explain it tome!"

"When I eat, it just makes everything worse!"

"What's worse? I need you to tell me, so I can help,'

"I feel really guilty and I throw up a-a-and I-I"

"Are you talking your wrists?"

"Y-yeah."

"I want to help you, Tyler. I need you to eat, 'cause if you don't you will die. You can't die, Tyler!" Josh said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I just can't, Josh. I can't."

"If I bring something easy tomarrow, will you eat it? I'll bring you carrots. Can you try to eat one?"

"I can't,"

"Tyler please"

"I'll try."

"Okay, that's all I ask. All I want you to do is try."

"T-thank you." Tyler said.

"For what?"

"Being here."

"Brendon, Ryan, and everyone is here for you too! We don't have to tell themm if you don't want to, but I think it might help them understand. Brendon helps Ryan out and they'll both be able to help you."

"I'll tell them, b-but I need your help, and I wanna tell them in private. Not at school."

"Okay, do you wanna have everyone come over here tomarrow, and we can tell them?"

"Y-yeah,"

"Okay, I'll send a message into the group chat."

~~~

Dun: Hey, everyone, my house afterschool tomarrow, Me and Tyler are going to tell you some really personal stuff about Tyler, so don't be dicks.

Bdon: Me and Ryan will be there

Dallon: I can't. I'm hanging out with Breezy

Dun: I stg Dallon

Dallon: Fineee

Dun: thx

Petewentz: We'll be there

Bdon: We?

xStumpx: us

Bdon: cool

Frnk: Eva and I will come ig

Dun: Thx guys!

~~~

"Everyone will be here afterschool tomarrow, okay?"

"O-o-okay," a tear ran down Tyler's cheek.

"Hey... we all only wanna help you," Josh hugged Tyler, "Dallon even is passing up on hanging out with Breezy for you,"

"H-he doesn't have to do th-"

"I know. He want's to."

"No he doesn't"

"Tyler! What's it gonna take to convince you we care about you?"

"You don't..."

"Ty, I care about you," Josh said seriously, looking Tyler in the eyes, "I love you."

Tyler smiled, "R-really?"

"Yeah..."

"I-I love you to!"

Josh smiled and placed a short kiss on Tyler's lips. They're lips moved together and Josh smiled into the kiss. "Stay alive." Josh said, "Stay alive for me."

"I'll try... for you"

Josh smiled and hugged Tyler, who put his head in the crook of Josh's neck. Josh only wanted Tyler to be happy and was determined to make that happen.

(828 words) So. They said 'I love you' wayyyy to soon I know. Deal with it. Also this chapter was pretty dark sorry. It'll get happy and fluffy soon. Stay happy, Stay hydrated, and Stay Alive |-/

~Lily