Before Women Had Wings

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The night sky exploded with light, yet it was not stars we were seeing. Their rockets and bombs had already brought forth grand destruction. My home lay in rubble, my family had been buried three days ago.

I looked up to the same sky I used to pray to, it would never be the same again.

                                         * * * 

'Wake up!' Someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw the dust whirl around her. With a gasp I bolted up. Shards of light shone upon her head. 'We have to get out of here, now.' I didn't know if I was still dreaming, but I could feel her hands reach for me and pull me up, just as a loud sound erupted not too far away.

She looked different than me, her skin was not the same, her words were not the same as mine, yet I felt a serenity around her. We ran until I thought my lungs would explode, my heart was beating like a drum.

'I will save you,' her hand never let go of mine. If she had not arrived when she did I surely would have perished. I didn't know if I should thank her or start to cry. There were moments I wished I could dig myself into my family's grave and will myself to die. The sorrow, the fear, was unbearable.

I had always been a quiet child, in need of protection and love. Some strength I could not comprehend allowed me to take care of the dead, whisper a few prayers over them, and rise and sleep for three whole days without shedding more than a few handfuls of tears. I observed, I listened. I stayed close to the only place where I felt was still safe, where the gunfire and bombs had forgotten.

I prayed for the sound of something familiar, someone's laughter, the chirping of birds. I wished I was a bird. I would spread my wings and fly, far, far away from all of this.

I don't even know why we were fighting.

                                       * * *

The land turned from brown to green, I could see grass sprouting underfoot. I saw trees where once there were none. I saw that we were running higher, up a mountain which no longer smelt like gunpowder or death. She turned to me and smiled. I will never forget that smile. 'You are safe now,' she promised me as we neared the cliff.

Grass turned into bits of stone, she held onto my hand even tighter. 'What if I fall?' I thought to myself when I knew that we were not going to stop.

'What if you fly?' she replied and gave me a nod. 

We stepped off the edge of that mountain. For a second I closed my eyes, but then I felt my wings outstretch, the wind gently pushing me up. I had nothing more to fear because now we had wings. 

© Christine Bottas. All rights reserved 2015-2016.



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