Reasons to Live - a collection of flash fiction stories

Crawl

In my eyes, you were perfection, even with your abundance of flaws. In my life, you were my sun, my world. I orbited around you as you shone down upon me. You gave me life then took it all away till there was nothing but fragments. I wanted your dawn, I wanted your light, yet with each passing day you would shower me with darker and more frightening nights. I came to feel so hollow inside.

'For fifty bucks, mister ah could take ya straight ta heav'n!'

Bright lights harshly accentuating their pale flesh and too much glittery-blue eye makeup. I slowed my car down, watching them in mild interest. They were the ghost-whores of the night. The phantoms in my head floating over the pavement in stilettos.

'C'mon, baby, you shy?' Then with a giggle she added, 'You some kin'a fruit?

Out of the shadows more and more appeared until cluster after cluster of L.A street-walkers filled my vision. Pretty girls with sashaying hips, willowy boys with smudged lipstick on pouting lips. Hollow voids that I'd have to pay to try to fill this emptiness. They'd give and I'd take until there was nothing left in either one of us. I shook my head, rolled my window up and continued along the boulevard.

I wanted to hurt you. Hurt you for making my life into what it is, for making me what I am. A shell.

From somewhere over my shoulder I heard your voice, teasing, deep and silky whispering, 'Don't forget to breathe.'

'Way to broke to fix.' I muttered as I pushed on along the street. My eyes searched every single face before me. 'Come on, one more f*cking night, please.' I begged between clenched teeth as the minutes ticked on relentlessly. 'Please.'

Nothing made sense anymore, nothing mattered but this obsession. Nothing was real anymore. Nothing but the world flashing before me. Lights created halos upon the streetlamps. Lunar rays created storms upon my windshield till everything began to blur.

'Baby.'

The road became your face. A picture painted long ago.

'So close. don't-

Your eyes bore into mind. Blue. An ocean.

'Never.'

I could have drowned in your gaze, but now I'm crawling in the dirt.

The night would explode and we would let it. We never worried about the pieces ever cutting our feet. The scratches you left on my back were my salvation. 'I'd die for you.' I would murmur as you slid out from beneath me and dress in mismatched clothes.

Girl skirts.

Boy jacket.

Combat boots.

Fishnet stockings.

And you would nod as I proclaimed my affection for you and lick your kiss-bruised lips. 'I'd die for you.' I would echo as you slithered into the night letting the door shut quietly.

Your words would hover, flutter around me until the demons of the night would shoot them all down and they would crumble at my feet like my fragmented soul. 'You already have...'

© Christine Bottas. All rights reserved 2015-2017.