Keysmith [NOT FANFICTION] ✓completed

Epic Skill Set, Check

"I wish I could tell you that our mission ran smoothly. I wish I could tell you that we slipped in and out of the restaurant completely unnoticed, got the information we needed and left. But, as you'd probably gathered from the fact that I started these sentences with "I wish", that wasn't the case.

I've always been a bit of a trouble-magnet. I'd tell you that trouble is my middle name, but that would be both cliché and an absolute lie-- my middle name is Blanc. Anyhow, the point I was getting at was that our being caught was probably mostly my fault.

It usually is.

Naturally, Magenta and I faced the problem of being surrounded by a couple of angry criminals like pros. Magenta pulled out her two identical semi-automatic pistols and aimed them at the two most important guys in the pack, and I whipped out my boomerangs and put on my most intimidating expression."

"FRANCE!"

"So you may be wondering; why boomerangs, Francis? I mean, if you're going down that action-movie lane, why not go the whole hog and get a bow with grappling hook arrows?

Well you see, the thing is, bows are a little overrated. I mean, they're absolutely awesome, don't get me wrong, but so many people use them already-- Hawkeye, the Rangers (Tolkien's and Flanagan's), Green Arrow, Legolas, Robin Hood, freaking Merida of DunBroch, and so on.

Also, bows and arrows take up too much space.

Whereas boomerangs are compact, amazing, and a whole lot more unique."

"FRANCIS!"

"I won't bore you with the fight scene details. I'm sure Lex didn't either -- although he probably didn't have a great many fight scenes, he's more the hit and run type.

Anyway, we won, obviously. We're the good guys, we always win.

We are still running though."

"Francisco White, stop recording and keep running or I'll smash that phone on the pavement," Magenta snarled, glancing over her shoulder to see if their pursuers were catching up. She saw that they were, and grabbed her partner's wrist, dragging him along with her.

Francis let out a yelp of surprise, ending the recording and stuffing the phone into his pockets while trying to keep up with Magenta. He succeeded, but only barely. 

"What-- *pant* --is-- *pant* --your plan?"

Magenta glanced over her shoulder with a disbelieving look on her face.

"My plan?" she repeated in surprise, "right now, it's 'get the heck outta here', I'll let you know if I come up with something better."

They vaulted over a fence in sync, and Francis ventured a quick look over his shoulder to see how those chasing them handled it. To his dismay, they vaulted the small fence just as effortlessly as he and Magenta had done.

"They're catching up, Mags," he informed her, "we might need another plan. We could just stand and fight."

"Because that worked out so well in the restaurant," Magenta mocked, and Francis rolled his eyes.

"Look, I honestly hadn't expected the waiter to have some insane phobia for boomerangs. I mean, how was I supposed to know he'd react like that?"

"You shouldn't have started throwing them so close to people's heads to begin with!"

"How else was I supposed to threaten them? If I'd shot an arrow above that guy's head you'd have been fine with it."

"Yeah, except a boomerang is not the same thing as an arrow, genius. Boomerangs come back."