Give Her Back

Derail

                            Derail
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My derail into insanity began when I was just a child, I was just three years old when my mindset was able to comprehend the fact that the world wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.

As a three year old I was able to understand a lot of things quite clearly, I never knew who my father was, he's existence was quite a mystery and for some reason my mother never talked about him and I didn't ask.
All I ever knew whilst growing up was my mother and my little baby sister. Coupled with the rundown shack that we lived in.

My sister was just six months old when it happened, when everything went to hell and the veil of the little comfort we had was taken from us.

My mother was an alcoholic, she drank a lot of booze doesn't really care what brand just helps her not to think of the many bad life choices she makes and was still making.

You know what they say about birds of the same feather who flock together, well my mom was a very good example of that " considering the kind of company she kept ".

Her circle of friends wasn't exactly something to write home about, junkies, crack heads, strippers and the occasional tattooed boyfriend who drinks a lot and reeks of weed.

My mother tended to have a lot of men in our shack, where they got drunk and shagged not caring about who was in the fucking room "AkA me". Horrifying to be woken up to the sound of your own mother getting plowed by different men.

And as someone who drank a lot, my mother tends to have a lot of violent episodes, where the recipient of said episodes were me.
Then later she'll break down crying saying she was sorry only just to repeat the same goddamn thing again and the cycle continued.

I had scars from a young age, courtsey of momma dearest but what could I do, I was just three and she was our only means of survival.

She led a shady and shitty life, where everyday consisted of booze, sex, drugs, more sex and more drugs.

These things would surely leave a very deep scar in the mindset of any child and lucky me I was the unfortunate child.

It was suprising to me that I wasn't plauged by nightmares by the things that I had to see, I just had to ignore it I said to myself.
She made enough to send me to school and put food on the table, the way she made it wasn't something I should question.

I was just glad that at least for some reason she cherished my sister, appearantly she was the only light in this twisted nightmare of ours.

Our own little hope.

Kris note; if you are interested in knowing more, then vote and comment on what you loved about this chapter.