Hoseok needed to talk to Namjoon. Especially with the way his world had all but been tilted on its axis. No, not tilted, his world had been ripped off its fucking orbit and thrust into another one. Because the man sitting in his dining room, eating ramyeon messily, sauce on his cheeks like a fucking five year old, was their leader - someone he had secretly admired for ages. He was the one with the purple hair and goddamn dimples - Benkei's true owner. He was the man who had stolen Jin's heart and Hoseok no longer knew how that would end if Namjoon was their beginning.
So he asked him - over dinner. Asked him if he would take him to the library so that they could hunt down a few history books. Try to figure out what had actually happened - how they were tied up to the entire thing.
Namjoon simply agreed. Namjoon who probably saw through his flimsy lie. Namjoon who probably knew why Hoseok was trying to get him alone. It made the ants under his skin crawl worse.
It made him jittery and he knew he needed to talk to Namjoon if he wanted to retain whatever sanity he had left. Whatever sanity the impending race hadn't eaten away - that shouldering so much responsibility had chipped off him. So they left after doing the dishes - after making sure everyone was settled safely in the living room - playing cards. Laughing.
Laughter was good.
He didn't know if they would still be laughing after a week.
The look Namjoon had had on his face when he saw them said the same thing. And it made Hoseok's palms clammy. Raziel had also always known what Hoseok had been thinking. Maybe even a little too well because he had managed to convince him for three whole weeks that they hadn't taken Jin, all the while hiding him in that one place Hoseok had never bothered to look. His own bedroom in the apartment - the one Raziel knew he wouldn't enter because he had known that Hoseok wouldn't rest until Jin was safe.
It was unsettling too see the same thoughtful look on Namjoon's face.
To see him react the same way.
Love the same way.
Fiercely.
Even if Raziel's had been a little too twisted.
And it became even more unsettling to Hoseok when he saw the grace with which Namjoon hoverboarded. The way the moon lit up his profile. How regal he looked standing tall and proud on Benkei.
So sure of himself. Unlike Hoseok.
Who couldn't help but doubt and doubt some more.
Gliding through the mostly empty streets with Namjoon was different. With Yoongi it would be lighthearted banter. With the trouble twins it was questions and awe. With their maknae and Jin it was companionship.
But with Namjoon - it felt so right, that it was so wrong.
Namjoon got Hoseok in a way only one other person had ever before. So much so that his constant humming was the only thing that reminded Hoseok that it wasn't Raziel next to him. He kept up with Hoseok's pace without him needing to tell him. He maintained a safe arm's distance when the ants under Hoseok's skin got worse and flew closer when he needed to know he wasn't alone. And he kept his silence - but not in that awkward sticky way but in a way that seemed to say it's enough that we are here for each other, we don't need words for it.
