Imbalance

▪︎Chapter Thirty Five▪︎

Waking up dazed, I massaged my temples hoping to relieve the throbbing headache that seemed to have intentions of bursting my skull. Insomnia coupled with my drug use appeared to be catching up to me. I barely had any recollection of my night beyond getting high. Slowing prying my eyes open, I noticed the other side of the bed was empty. Looking at the clock, I realized it was a little past seven. Londyn usually didn't leave for work yet so I assumed she was probably downstairs making breakfast.

Finally gathering some strength to move, I hopped out of bed and journeyed to the bathroom to take care of my dental hygiene. Staring at the mirror, I was startled by the man who was looking at me. The bags under my eyes were more pronounced, my hair had grown out significantly and my beard desperately needed trimming and reshaping. I quickly brushed my teeth and wash my face, no longer able to stomach my reflection.

Exiting the bathroom, I trod downstairs expecting to find Londyn in the kitchen or at the dining table with Amalie. However, I was greeted by a distraught Amalie, sitting at the kitchen table alone holding tightly to Eli the stuffed elephant that Londyn bought while at the zoo some time ago. Once she noticed my presence, a mixture of sadness and disgust marred her face. I instantly became self conscious and rubbed my nose thinking there might have been some residue. I greeted her as I usually did, only to be met by silence.

"What's wrong princess? Where's Londyn?" I scratched my head finding it strange that she still hadn't surfaced. Amalie shrugged, her sadness becoming more evident with each passing second.

"I don't know, she's gone. She didn't even come and say good bye like she normally does." She rubbed her eyes roughly and sniffled, willing the tears not to fall. I began racking my brain trying to figure why Londyn left. I was highly confused, that is until a lightbulb went off in my head and images of lastnight flooded my mind

"DAMN IT TJ!" I yelled as my fists connected with the nearby wall causing Amalie to jump.

"I'm sorry I scared you baby girl, come here." She reluctantly vacated her seat but melted into my embrace once she got near. I wrapped my arms around her tight for a hug, rocked her back and forth, and apologized profusely.

"Go put on some shoes okay? You're gonna stay with grandma and papa for a lil bit. Daddy has something really important to do." I instructed once our embrace was broken.

"Okay." She sluggishly climbed up the staircase. While she was gone, I kept pacing back and forth as I tried to call Londyn. However, I kept being sent to voicemail. Vivid images of what transpired lastnight kept showing up in my mental screen and I was beyond disgusted with myself. I couldn't believe I had put my hands on her.

Before my thoughts drove me crazy, Amalie ambled back downstairs and informed that she was ready. I swiftly ran upstairs and threw on a tshirt, a pair of sweats and my Nike slides. I snatched my keys off the kitchen counter and rushed us out the door hoping to make it to Londyn's house before she went to work, if she planned on going. Either way, I desperately needed to see her.

After dropping Amalie off and promising to come back for her once I got done with my business, I sped off in the direction of Londyn's house. Within record time I was turning into her driveway. Luckily her car was there signaling that she was most likely home, I just prayed she'd let me in. Hopping out of my car, I jogged to the front door and rang the doorbell a few times. I kept rocking on the balls of my feet and nervously rubbing the back of my neck. Seconds later I heard the door unlock. It soon swung open revealing an unreadable Londyn. I felt ten times worse that I did before I got over here.

"Hey." I gnawed my bottom lip and avoided eye contact.

"What do you want Thau?"

"Can I come inside, please? It'll only be a minute."