Imbalance

▪︎Chapter Thirty▪︎

Two weeks, that was how long TJ knew the definition of improvement before he relapsed and we were back at square one. I understood him being committed to his job but I felt like he was becoming borderline obsessive. I had given up talking to him about since what I was trying to get him to understand obvious wasn't getting through his thick skull. Even Amalie seemed to be accepting the fact that he wasn't around since she stopped inquiring about his whereabouts and voicing how much she missed him, which was quite sad. I tried my best to pick up where he slacked off since I knew what it was like to have a less than ideal parent, and I also knew the value of a great parent through my father. I could only hope once this case was solved that TJ lived up to his word and slowed down with his career. I didn't even care that much if his time was limited with me but Amalie needed to be assured that his absence wouldn't become the norm.

With him being gone majority of the time, our wedding plans were pretty much stagnated. Despite my disappoint in TJ, I was grateful that this issue surfaced when it did rather than after we walked down the aisle. At least we both still had time to think about whether we wanted to go forward with this engagement or not. I was unwilling to give up just yet but if his workaholic tendencies were any indication of how he'd be in a marriage then I wasn't so sure I wanted any part of it. Maybe we'd be better off as friends that way we'd be able to remain in each other's lives without any added pressure. Only time would tell whether friendship would end up being our fate.

Rarely being one to deviate from my nightly routine, I ensured that Amalie's homework was done correctly and she made it to bed on time since it was a school night. After that, I acquainted myself with my kingsized bed, snuggled under the covers and whipped out the latest novel that I'd purchase. However, I was interrupted within a matter of minutes as my cellphone vibrated nonstop against the nearby nightstand. My heart felt like it ceased beating for a few seconds and breath got stuck in my windpipe as panic settled in. Hardly anyone ever called me at night unless there was an emergency. My mind instantly drifted to TJ and I snatched the phone with swiftness. When I realized that it was Ryah wanting to video chat, I playfully rolled my eyes and released the air that had accumulated in my airways.

"Girl why you calling me at this time of the night?" I questioned once I slid the answer button and her face was visible.

"Well damn, I can't call my sister now. Lemme hang up real quick and call Nae instead. I'm sure she'd appreciate my call."

"You always gotta be so dramatic? What's up though?"

"Nothing, just checking on you. We haven't really talked much this week." She said, rolling onto her stomach and propping her palms at either side of her chin.

"Aww, look at you being sweet." I teased making her roll her eyes.

"I'm good. I was just reading before you called."

"Yawn. You need some excitement in your life sis. How are the wedding plans coming along? Why haven't you consulted me about anything yet? You know I'm not letting you plan this without me." She reminded.

"Sis, ain't no planning going right now. I'm not sure I even wanna do this anymore honestly." I admitted, fiddling with my ring.

"It's gotten that bad huh?" She questioned, knowing what was going on between TJ and I. Hardly anyone else knew, but as dramatic and annoying as Ryah could be she was still by far my favorite sibling and best friend. I confided almost everything to her ever since we were younger.

"Yeah." I sighed heavily. "Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? I knew what I was getting into, but now I don't know anymore."

"Ofcourse not. I mean it wasn't like this when y'all were just dating. Even though he was working he made time. He should be doing better at that now that you guys have taken your relationship to another level. That's just my two cents."