To The Letter

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Dear Juan Carlos,

Thank you for not giving up on me. Makes me not feel like a complete and total loser. But anyway, you asked what I look like so here goes. I'm 5ft tall, long brown hair almost to my waist, brown eyes, light complexion but here's the kicker. I'm a thick girl. Not fat just thick. By being a thick girl, I spend a lot of time alone. Yet another thing to make you run for the hills like your Jordans are on fire.

Anyway, how do you spend your days in there? I know it's probably stressful, having to watch your back all the time, seeing the same people day in and day out? I know it would drive me more insane than I already am. My days here are filled with going to work and coming home. I don't really go anywhere. That's one of the downfalls of having depression and anxiety, any chance to hide from the world and not be seen is a chance you jump at.

What do you like to do when you are home? For me, it's listening to music and singing. Singing seems to be my coping mechanism but no one here has heard me sing. Not even my best friend. So, another thing you know about me that no one else does. That about you? Anything else that no one else knows that you feel like sharing?

Well, I better go. Please be safe and be good. Please? Until mail call.

Cass

I put the letter in the mail the next day and head to work. "Are you okay?" Lisa asks. "Yeah. Just mailed off another letter to Juan Carlos." I tell her. "You and him hitting it off?" she asks. "Lisa, it's just letters." I tell her. "Alexander asked me to come visit him." she tells me. "Are you going?" I ask. "Yeah. He's already put me on his list. I'm going Saturday to see him." she tells me. "Good luck with that." I tell her. "Would you go see Juan Carlos if he asks?" she asks. "And watch him run for the hills? No thanks." I tell her before walking to my desk and getting to work. A few days later, there's another letter.

Dear Cass,

I found myself smiling today when I heard my name at mail call. Tig is giving me shit about having a new girl in my life but all I can do is smile. He said your friend is coming to visit him but they have been talking on the phone for a while now. You think that might be something in our future?

My days here are spent playing basketball and working out and thinking about your letters. Since writing you, my anxiety and depression aren't as bad. Thank you for that. When I'm home, I like to go for long rides. Being on my Harley it really clears my head. Helps me sort all the shit that's bouncing around between my tats. What about you? What do you like to do other than sing?

As far as you saying you're a thick girl. I like girls with curves. The girls I'm used to seeing are all skinny and all you see are their bones. Nothing really to hold onto. Plus, thick girls cuddle better and I love to cuddle. As far as your singing, maybe you'll let me hear you one day. You know, since we share secrets now. One more thing that I can share with you that no one knows so don't tell anyone. Even your friend. Because if Tig finds out I'll never hear the end of it. My favorite movie is Practical Magic.

Well, that's about it this time. Think about what I asked. I'd love to at least hear your voice. I read your letters every night before I go to sleep. Helps me sleep. Maybe your voice will too. I'll be good and be safe Sweetheart. Until mail call.

Juice