Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Private Angel Log Entry Three

"I can't listen to this anymore...you are my best friend, and I don't want to have to report you, but if you keep going on like this, I will have no choice."

"Leave then!" I screamed at him.

Shooting me a last pleading glance, Ray vacated the room as quickly as he could. I felt guilty for snapping at him that way, it wasn't his fault that everything in my life was going to Hell, but I had been holding these pent up emotions in for too long, and I had unloaded it all on him.

Still feeling antsy, I grabbed my broadsword and stalked out of my room. It would be more productive to take out my anger on some demons than my friends.

After I had slaughtered a basic demon who had been trying to convince a man to murder his wife, I wandered the streets aimlessly because I wasn't ready to return to Heaven just yet.

When I had finally calmed down a bit, I realized I had ended up in New Jersey; I told myself it was just an odd coincidence, and I hadn't purposely envisioned this place just because Gerard's brother lived here - of course that wasn't the case.

I tried to resist the temptation to take a quick peek to make sure he was all right, but I was fighting a losing battle; if I just popped in, I wouldn't exactly be disobeying orders, I mean - I wasn't acting as his guardian, I was just going to see how he was doing so I could reassure Gerard that his brother was still surviving.

Going on Gerard's description of where Mikey had been staying before his death, I turned invisible and canvased the area until I spotted the innocent looking apartment. As I reached the right door, I sensed a human soul inside, which meant Mikey was home, and I wouldn't have to waste time searching for him. I could feel the similar resonance that reminded me of Gerard, and I smiled fondly.

Just then, I felt a waver in the soul's connection to the body...that only happened when someone was close to death! Using all of my strength, I broke the door down and rushed inside, losing my invisibility in the process, but I couldn't be bothered to care if anyone saw a strange man suddenly appear and break into an apartment, I had bigger worries at the moment.

I quickly scanned the entryway, but saw no one, so I continued on into the bedroom with fear threatening to paralyze me. The sight that met my eyes when I crashed into the small dimly lit room almost brought me to my knees with the horror of it.

Mikey lay sprawled on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, an empty bottle of vodka on the nightstand accompanied by a bloodied razor and a bottle of pills. In my heart, I knew it was too late to save him, but I had to try something.

I called all of my powers to bear, but I was no healer, all I ever did was destroy. As I tried to staunch the heavy flow of blood from his wrists, I pleaded to God, or anyone else that could hear me to save this boy. I would give anything in that moment to ensure that he kept living.

But my futile efforts were in vain, and as I held Mikey in my arms, I felt his soul detach from his body and descend into Hell. Never before had I actually witnessed this...either I killed the demon before he could influence his target any further, or I fled.

Having someone die in my arms was the worst feeling I have ever experienced...and Gerard had to go through this almost every day. How could he possibly endure this much pain and still possess such a beautiful soul?

My respect for him grew a thousand fold even as my heart ripped in two as I realized I would have to break the news of his brother's tragic death to him - oh god, Gerard didn't deserve this, and neither did Mikey.

Gingerly, I picked Mikey up off the floor and laid him in his bed, arranging his body to make him look as peaceful as possible. If I had come sooner, I may have been able to save him...I was such a failure...if Gerard didn't already despise me, then this would do it for sure.

I returned to Heaven in a cloud of depression. Ignoring everyone that tried to speak with me, I barricaded myself in my room and tried to banish the vision of Mikey's still body, which was permanently imprinted on my brain.

Just as I was dozing off in a pathetic attempt to escape my overwhelming guilt, I jolted up so fast I almost hit my head on the backboard of my bed.

"Frank!" Gerard's voice wailed inside my head.

The sheer agony I felt in his call hit me like a blow to the gut. I hadn't even stopped to think that because Mikey was a demon now, Gerard would have already found out about his death, but I knew nothing else could cause him this much anguish...oh my poor demon, he must be in so much pain...

Even though I knew facing him in this condition was dangerous, as enraged as he was, he could end up killing me, I had to go to him, and if I did perish at his hands, I deserved it for failing him and Mikey.

I gave myself feels writing this one...poor Mikey...and now Frank feels responsible. Why am I so mean to them?

Anyway, I can't believe this fanfic has gotten 200 reads already! Thank you guys, seriously, this is the best response I have ever gotten to a fanfic on this site, and it really means a lot to me!

And sorry if any of you are reading my other fanfics, I really am trying to update them, but I seem to keep getting ideas for this one every time I write!

So stick around for the next update loves

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