Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Entry Twenty-Two: Fire and ice and pain

Entry Twenty-Two: Fire and ice and pain

I'm burning from the inside out one second, than in the next, my bones are turned to ice. There is no in-between, and these rapid shifts in temperature are disorienting to say the least, actually, they are making me downright miserable.

I know I am already suffering from withdrawals, but this is so much worse than I ever imagined it to be. It has only been a week: a week since I had escaped from Hell with Bob, a week since I had downed an entire bottle of Livian, a week since Mikey had been healed, and I don't know how much longer I can expect these painful symptoms to last.

They began two days ago; they were tolerable at first, as if I just had a mild fever, and I had managed to hide it from everyone so far, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up my facade for long, and even though I had yet to give in and drink any more Livian, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Then Frank would find out, and I didn't want him to discover my problem that way, but it was so hard to be strong. Even though I swore to myself that I wouldn't give in, I hadn't prepared myself for this.

Because how was I supposed to keep resisting when I felt like I had a thousand suns spontaneously combusting inside me - when I was so cold that I couldn't control my shaking limbs, and each and every movement hurt so badly, I thought I would break at any moment.

I have to tell Frank so he can help me through this, but I am so scared he will be upset with me. I know he loves me, but he has bigger things to worry about right now, what with the rebels angels arriving in a few days.

Brendon managed to send another letter, telling us that as soon as everyone was gathered, they would be heading our way. What was going to happen after that, I had no idea, but I had a feeling it was going to be something monumental.

"Baby?" Frank's voice floated through the bathroom door where I was currently sequestered away, trying to get myself under control before anyone noticed my pathetic state.

"Yeah?" I answered shakily, my voice coming out in a gruff tone thanks to my parched throat.

"Bob's about to leave, are you okay in there?" I could hear the worry interlaced with his question, but I wanted to pretend that everything was okay for just a little while longer.

"I'll be right out."

I splashed water on my face quickly, hoping to cool down my flushed features before exiting the bathroom with a fake grin plastered on my face.

"He's downstairs with Mikey right now," Frank gestured, and I nodded before following him into the living room.

I had been hoping that Bob would choose to stay with us. Even though he had only been here for a short time, he had become an integral part of our dysfunctional little family, and I would miss his jovial presence, but when he found out about the angels that would soon be making our home their new base of operations, he had opted to leave, and nothing I said could change his mind.

"Hey guys," he greeted us once we reached his line of sight. His bag was already packed with the few meager possessions he owned, all that was left to do was say goodbye, and I fucking hated goodbyes.

"Hey," I mumbled quietly. I didn't know what to say now that he was really leaving; no words would ever encompass how thankful I was for everything he had done, and I think he understood that too.

"Well I'm shit with this kind of stuff, but this isn't forever, I'll be back once everything has cooled down." Bob stood up, grabbing his pack and slinging it over his shoulder.

"You better, or we will come find you ourselves," I grinned at him before pulling him in for a hug.

"Hey - I thought you learned the first time, I don't do hugs," Bob chortled, but he still wrapped his arms around me briefly before pulling away.