One Shots // Seaycee

see you on the next wave pt.2

brace yourself as this chapter will make no sense.
(anyway you can hmu anytime 🙋‍♀️)
Ig : @/or.lanska, let's be friends!
-agnes-
—
Sometimes you know that you are in love not because of the butterflies in your stomach, but the pain that you feel.

Especially after they decided to leave you. Forever—like what Kaycee did.

Maybe I could accept it if she knocked on my door late at night and say that she doesn't see where the relationship is going, but that is not the case. She decided to tell me that this life is not what she wants. And it hurts like hell.

Some people got the blessings to still be able to see their loved ones, seeing the way they laugh, seeing how the light illuminates their skin—knowing that they are okay even though distance is separating them.

But that's not my luck. I don't know if my Kaycee is okay—if she's dead out there or maybe she's still alive somewhere else.

I couldn't even see her face in our final goodbye—and that's not fair. no.

She's dead they said. They said the ocean took her body away. They said her corpse is somewhere else, drifting with the ocean.

She's not dead—I know that. Maybe I can't see her face like I used to, hold her like I would, kiss her as much as I used to. But she's still here, with me, with everyone else. I can still feel her bubbly voice echoing in my room, the way her shadows appeal on the beach.

The ocean took her away to a better place—she's not dead. She's living her life somewhere else, far away from this absurd world.

Call me crazy—but she's still a part of my life. The thoughts of her is inevitable. She's the one and she will always be.

They think I am crazy—everyone been telling me that I couldn't cope up with her loss.

Fuck what they say, I never lost her. She didn't left me, she left the world, to a better place—and every night she tells me she's doing just fine.

But it hurts. And I hate her for hurting me like this.

I gave her all the love I could—and this is how she pays me back. I mold our love together then she came by said that it's beautiful but at the end she decided to destroy it.

Maybe—beautiful things and memories are not meant to last forever, like me and Kaycee.

The most beautiful flower will always get picked first from the garden. And that's not fair. You are supposed to let it grow—let it embrace the beauty it has.

Taking my Kaycee away from me because she has the most beautiful soul from others is not fair.

"Sean Lew." A nurse came out from the gray door, I walked up to her as she welcomes me in. "No one is accompanying?" She asked as I shook my head slowly. She led me to the center of the room, my doctor is sitting there, examining a folder of papers.

They think I'm crazy. I am not crazy. Maybe they are.

"Sean nice to meet you again—please take a seat wherever you feel most comfortable with." She said, fixing her glasses as I walked to the long sofa nearby her. I lifted my legs and rest my head on the edge of the blue sofa.

"You still think I'm crazy, don't you?" I mumbled, closing my eyes.

I am sick of going to this place—I rather stay at home and spend my time with Kaycee.

"Mr.Lew, I believe that losing someone can create a trauma. Some people don't have the coping mechanism of accepting the reality of losing their loved ones. You are not crazy, you are just in a really deep grief." I could hear her dragging the chair closer to me. "So tell me about Kaycee, yeah?" She asked followed by a sound of a pen clicking.