Chapter Thirty-Three: Elonar

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Chapter Thirty-three

Elonar woke up shaking, she pulled the skins up to her chin but was still cold, she rolled over to curl up in the rest of the furs, but he was there, lying so peacefully asleep, his lips slightly parted, his breath was slow, steady and constant, stands of hair falling on his forehead. She brushed one strand back from his face, and his golden eyes fluttered open, he saw her and smiled and pulled her close and she pressed her cheek to his chest, holding him so tight, never letting him go. Garlan kissed the top of her head, "go back to sleep my love" he groaned sleepily, wrapping his arm around her lazily, and pulling her close to him.

El almost cried then, "if I do, I fear you'll leave me again" she said pressing herself against his warmth.

"Oh El" he laughed a little "you know I'll never leave you" Garlan nudged her head up with his and their lips met, they stayed together for sometime before, as the kiss depend, tears spilled out of her eyes and wet her cheeks.

"But my dear,your already gone" she said, holding his face, she pressed her forehead against his. "Oh gods I miss you" she bit her lip.

"I will always be here, my love" he said kissing her one last time,she squeezed her eyes shut to keep him there, keep him with her, then she woke up shaking ams freezing cold.

El climbed out of bed and crossed to the fire place and wrapped herself in a robe. She stared at the fire for hours until sunlight peeped through the stutters. It had been three months and each day was like the next and the one previous. Dark, cold and draining. El mainly stayed in her room blocking everyone out and hiding herself away. As hard as she tried to forget Garlan he wouldn't leave her, especially now,with his child growing inside her.

One day however, El woke up to spring sunlight illuminating her bed chamber, it was early afternoon,she took a deep breath in, and somehow she wanted to get up and do something. So she made her way shakily downstairs,she walked as confidently as she could into the Great Hall, but stopped just outside to hear the conversation, Axel Umber and the other lords were arguing rather loudly. "She's no leader, if she isn't leading us" Lord Manderly said standing.

"She's grieving" Alysane Mormont retorted, "and she's now pregnant with child, I can only imagine how painful that must be"

"See, she's weak, she's got a woman's body and heart" Greatjon Umber said, sitting back in his chair.

"She's not weak, gods, she's a stark, you only have three fingers on your left hand, milord Umber, if I remember correctly it was a stark direwolf that took those fingers."

"Robb's wolf, not hers" The greatjon interrupted.

"Neither the less, she's the strongest woman, I've ever met, and shes a stark and the Starks have ruled the north for hundreds of years, so I'm staying" Alysane looked around at the grumbling faces of the men that surrounded her. " gods,she's grieving, she'll be back!" Alysane Mormont, half yelled at the greatjon

"For three months? It's absurd, she's no ruler if she is hiding away in a tower is she?" Lord Glover added.

"But she is a ruler, and she'll be fine" Axel said.

"When?" Lord Manderly said rising "for now, until she's back, me and men are pulling out and going home"

"My men grow restless too, with Garlan gone, many of them want to return home to Highgarden, or change sides" Ser Francas Ambrose added.

"That's treason, you know" El said, confidently as she could striding into the hall "my lord Manderly take a seat." El took her seat at the head of the table. "Tell me, Axel what are the lannisters doing?"

"We pushed them as far back as Moat Cailin, Mi'Lady" Axel said.

Elonar nodded "we leave for Moat Cailin, in the next fortnight" she said, examining the map on the table.

"But Mi'Lady, you are with child are you not?" Alysane raised.

"The men need to see me, since I'm assuming there may be rumours of me death, I will go south to Moat Cailin, but I will not fight" El said, "lord Manderly, you are welcome to take your men home, by all means, but you will suffer the consequences of treason if you do leave." Lord Manderly remained silent, held under El's frozen stare. "The same goes to the rest of you." She glared around the room, her glance as hard as steel "lord Manderly you will return to Hornwood and Glover back to Torrhens square, Greatjon Umber and half the Mormont men will remain here in Winterfell, Axel and Alyane will accompany me south along with the other half of the Mormont men and my oen personally but as and the Tyrell men" she said strongly."leave" she waved her hand. Everyone got up to leave "not you Axel" she said. "A walk?" She asked. Axel followed her out of the hall and into the maze of Winterfell.

Elonar stayed silent until they were just outside her chambers, she sat down in a chair but he window and poured them both drinks. For a while they remained in silence, El watching the fire, Axel Watching El "Axel, I wanted apologise"

"For what? Mi'Lady" Axel asked looking to El, raising an eyebrow.

"For leaving you to take care everything, when I couldn't.." She chewed the inside of her bottom lip.

He just nodded and swallowed as of, trying to decide where or not to speak "do you wish to talk about him?" Axel said, instantly regretting what he'd said. "What I mean is, can I say something about him?"

She shrugged "I guess he's everywhere isn't he, go head" she smiled at the ground not looking at Axel, her eyes glassy with tears.

"He, he said once, of anything ever happened to him, that I was to look after you" he said, trying to avoid her eyes.

El stood up and gazed out the window vaguely, "It's absurd, how someone can be so, real and alive, then they're just gone." She smiled a little, shaking a way the tears.

She turned back to Axel "Mi'Lady, there was a raven from Willas Tyrell" Axel Umber reached into his jacket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of parchment.

Elonar took the letter from him and read it through, "they want his body" she looked down at the paper, ripped it in two, then threw the letter into the fire behind her. "Do you think we can win this war?" El asked suddenly turning to Axel. "Tell me honestly"

Axel Umber thought for a moment "yes, under the right circumstances"

"Which would be?" Elonar stark, questioned sipping her wine.

"We fight better than the lannisters" he half laughed "and if Stannis gets here in time"

She sucked at her lip and nodded, "I think we could win, Garlan only ever pretended to believe we could win, he knew he'd die, and in a strange way, I did too, we talked about it a few times, I just never thought it would be so soon.."

"For gods sake, El, your never going to get any better if you keep talking about him as it he's still here." Axel half snapped.

El lifted one eyebrow "that is no way to speak to your Queen." She sipped her wine again, she looked quite frightening standing over him, narrowing her grey wolf-like eyes and the contours of her face illuminated by the flickering fire glow "but it needed to be said and it's very true, you should be going Axel, we'll speak at dinner" Axel Umber stood and left silently.

Gods, she missed him, sometimes the pain was a dull pulse, and other times it was like being stabbed, now was one of those terrible times, where she felt like nothing could ever be good, ever again, and she sank to the floor in tears.

***

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