Epiphany Of Life

1 :ME MYself and I:

I stumbled across the room and took a handful of antidepressant pill or my lifeline pills which is what I prefer to call them.  I've been taking them since the accident, you could say by now I was kinda addicted to them, these double coloured shiny pearls are the only thing binding me to this cruel world.

They made me forget about all the things that hurt. I sat down in one of the corner of my room and just closed my eyes trying hard to forget the past but it just flooded back in.

I still remember the desperate look on my mom's face when she heard the news, she came to hospital in her baking atire. When they showed my sister's lifeless body to her, she fainted.
She couldn't take it.
She wouldn't eat for days on an end most of the time it was me pushing the food into her mouth. The separation from my father and Ela's death  was too much for her. In the end, she left me too. She left me, and now I'm the only one left.

It's been 2 years since the accident I still can't get over the whole thing. Being left all alone just hit me harder. I was brought back to reality when my eyes fell on the brochure of my current college.
I got through scholarship to a pretty prestigious college but I didn't care much about the college I just wanted leave from the place that took my sister's life.

Damn this is certainly not a great way to start my college year. I could feel the medicine finally kicking in because I suddenly felt a lot better and a bit happier perhaps.

Since I'm up anyway I decided to go to college it was really early but, I really needed a breath of fresh air. I lived with my aunt ever since the incident. Since my mom died my dad wasn't willing to take me in considering he has a new wife and kids, I wouldn't be too surprised.
My dad took the whole incident quite easily he was sad but he got over it quite quickly.

Starting this year I'm living by myself. It's not gonna be fun living alone but it is going to be peaceful, with my past I try not to be close to people cause in the end we will lose them.

The closer you are to the person the harder it's going to be when they leave you forever so, its better to not get close at all.

I walked to my closet which is practically empty except for 3 black tees, a single black hoddie and 4 black track pants.
I know I seem to have an obsession with black mainly because it keeps me invisible and it always matches with my feelings that are always empty.

I left my home planning to take a short tour of the campus before the other students came in hoping it would calm my mind down a bit.

~it's just me myself and I
                        Solo ride until I die~

    -Bebe Rexha & G easy