Epiphany Of Life

:PrOloGuE:

ALL ME.

"Leslie .... Leslie ... LESLIE ... Stop daydreaming and take your sister to her dance classes she's already late, I can't do everything by myself you know, lt would be nice if you would help".
My mom scowled, anger biting each word. She's obviously irritated at me for still sitting, my ass stuck to the couch and eyes solely on ma phone.

"Fine I got it mom I'll go, Just stop nagging me already".
God, just when I was about to win my game.
I got off the couch reluctantly mainly because my mom's gaze looked deadly enough to bore a hole into my soul. I called out to my sister who was singing "let it go" at the top of her voice.

Her voice was loud enough to burst all the glasswares in our home including my ear drums. She came jumping down the stairs wearing her tutu ballerina costume and yes, ofcourse everything she wore had to be pink, her dress, her hair bun, her shoes even her hair.
She somehow persuaded mom to dye her hair pink, in return she promised  to no longer get into fights with other students. Ella is a fiery girl, I honestly think she should do martial arts instead of ballet but, it's her decision afterall.

She stood in front of me grinning widely, showing off her teeth gap in the process. I took her hand in mine after giving my mom a hurried goodbye and walked towards the front door to go to the bus station. Ella's ballet class was just a few 10 blocks away. We could walk but, then again me being lazy decided to take the easy way which was the BUS.

"Hurry up Ella!", On the way to the bus stop Ella wouldn't stop running around. She was waving at some stranger with a dog. The dog looked really cute but, the stranger looked eerie. So I just grabbed her hand and ushered her to one of the seats next to the bus stop.

The bus would be here in 5 min but, my mind was already drifting away. Daydreaming about my Nick, squee!! it still gave me goosebumps.

And I'm gonna meet him today. I wanted to do my happy dance there but, refrained myself from looking stupid admist all the people sitting beside me.
yesterdays phone call kept playing in my head.

*Yesterday's phone call*
Phone rings.
I checked my phone screen and immediately went high up in the clouds.
Am I dreaming .. no way !! It's  Nick!!

Ok let me explain, Nick has been my crush since elementary school and him calling me is like a dream come true. He always looked perfect his chiselled face, those dreamy eyes, that full lips and what's more he's an animal freak just like me.
I absolutely love animals all kind except insects ofcourse, no offense to those who do like them, they just ain't my type.

God, i have stop daydreaming. Ok calm down Leslie, breathe, you can do this I mean how hard can it be.
Ok... this is pretty hard. I've been staring at the screen for a while now.

I've got 2 options:-
#1 take the damn phone and possibly end up with NICK!!
#2 don't take the phone and forever ruin my chances with him.
And I finally made up my mind on #1
Good thing I took the phone before it stopped ringing.

Nick : "Hey Les!"

(omg he called me les .. yippee)

Nick: "Les?? You there??"

Leslie: "Huh.. ye--a-a, I'm here .. wa-a wassup Nick".

Nick: "So Les, I was wondering if u would want to meet up, if your free that is. I really want to spend some time together with you, if that's ok".

(omg he wants to spend time with me .. squee !! )
Leslie: "YES!! I mean sure I would love to stare at u, I mean spend time with you".

Nick: "Well then, see you tomorrow".

I snapped back to reality when a really plump guy came and sat in the long seat with us and now we were all squished.

I hope I look ok though, instinctively bringing a hand to my hair to see if any of the strands were poking out like it usually did. After trying hard to keep them in place, my tongue ran through my lips in an attempt to wet the dry and chapped area. That's when it occurred to me I had  forgotten to put on some lipstick.

I looked around and there were some small shops around.
Maybe I'll get some in that shop I thought staring at the small shop with a Kim Kardashian picture to its side. I could see lipsticks lined up in the front of the shop. I looked at Ella she was talking to some other girl.
"Hey Ella, sit right here k I'll be right back".

I wish I hadn't said that, if I had just forgetten about the stupid lipstick and stayed with her. If only i had just rejected Nick's invitation. If only I hadn't been so lazy. If only i could have been there in time to stop the accident. If only I could ...........................

I woke up in cold sweat shivering the sound of my sister's cries still ringing in my head, the loud shrill scream I heard few min before she---DIED .

The image of her body covered in blood after being hit by a car when she accidentally ran across the road. The sound of the ambulance rushing in while my sister lied in that bed, her small heart trying hard to live. When her heart gave up on herself, all my prayers wasted. Everything shattered and it's all because of me, me, only me. I killed her
All me.

~what doesn't kill u
            Makes u wish you were dead~

-BMTH ( drown )