see you on the next wave

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[trigger warning : this story contains suicidal behavior.]

Song to listen while you read : Listen Before I Go-Billie Eilish (to make u more emotional hell yeah.)
-nes🍑-

Kaycee Rice has always been the death of me. The love of my life, she's the apple to my pie.

Kaycee Rice has always been there for me—even when I'm a complete emotional wreck, when I started losing myself, she reminded me of who I am. She never gives up on me even when I gave up on myself. Even when she looked tired, she'll always make sure that I am doing fine. She was able to piece me together and get me through life.

But I was never there for her.

I can't help as my body become weak, tears falling from my eyes reaching down to my cheeks. When I cry,Kaycee would always kiss my tears away—but she's not here anymore. And she will never be. I swiped the salty tears before they reaches my jaw. Kaycee Caitlin Rice, why didn't you tell me you were struggling as well? why did you fix me admist losing yourself?

—a year ago—
"Kaycee—it has been our fifth time going to the beach. Why do you love the beach so much? I was hoping we can go somewhere else for our date. It gets pretty boring." I scoffed as we sit on the sand, letting the wind hit us softly. She didn't give me an answer, she just laughed and closed her eyes—letting the wind blows her curly hair. I've always love her hair, they're soft. Feels like I can stroke it every day.

"Did you hear that?" she asked me, a smile curved on her face—"Listen." she continued, holding my hand as she instructed me. I followed what she was doing, I close my eyes as I try focusing to hear what Kaycee heard earlier, but I couldn't. "I hear nothing babe." I said, looking at her.

"The ocean Lew—the sound of the waves hitting each other. Don't you hear that?" She opened up her eyes and immediately looked at me. I giggled—"You adore the ocean so much don't you? Why?" I asked as I get closer to her, allowing my head to rest on the cursive of her neck.

"Sean Lew you're such a low class." she teased me as she shook her head—bursting into laughter. "I've always adore the ocean because of what's beneath it. The life deep down. How deep it gets down there—probably there's a life underneath that I don't know about, and maybe it's better than this." She gently brushed my hair.

"The sea is an intriguing element. It's calm and beautiful but sometimes it's angry and harsh. Just like us." She continued, her attention is fully to the ocean. "Rice bowl, you're such a dork." I fixed my position—getting on the same angle as she is. I looked at her eyes as I bring her closer to me—"May I?" When she nodded, I kissed her lips slowly, both my hands holding her cheeks. "I might be a dork but you love me." She giggled as she pushed me away.

"Sean—let me tell you a secret." She said as she stood up, wiping away the sand from her dress. I raised my eyebrows while she reached out for my hand as she pulled me up. "As much as I adore the ocean—I adore you more." she said.

—present time—
I hold a framed picture of Kaycee tightly on my arms ,as everyone walked by I slowly put it on top of the white carved coffin. Kaycee's body is not laying inside of it. But the police declared that she has died after she went missing for a whole year.

They said that there's no sign of her moving to another part of the state, there's no history of mobile usage and purchases from the credit card that went missing with her. The Rice family gave up on looking for her, it was a dead end. When authorities came a week ago and brought a document for Kaycee's parents to sign—they didn't hesitate.

You want to know what document it's about? it's about an agreement to close all investigations for Kaycee. We thought there will be a spark of hope, but it's none to be found.

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