I Hate My Brother (editing!)

35.

(Picture of Wayne Owens)
• • •

"It's positive, Ms. Owens."

Fuck.

"I'm sorry?" My doctor clears his throat. Oops, did I just cursed out loud?

"How?" I croak out.

Cass has reminded me about 'the time of the month' and that made me recall that I haven't had my cycle in more than a month. I have been so busy with school, Zac and dwelling in sadness that it completely slipped my mind. Damn it.

"Um..." Dr. Mike trails off.

"How?" I repeat. "I've been taking the morning after pill."

"Ms. Owens, Plan B isn't always effective. If you are having regular sexual activity, taking birth control or any other regular contraception will be much better." He advises me, looking at me with a sympathetic smile.

"Well, fuck." I sigh, cupping my face into my hands. How did I let this happen, again? Knowing I've already been pregnant once, I should've been way more careful!

Moreover, this is a horrible time for this to happen. I'm in no right state of mind to be a young and unprepared single mother.

"Are you alright, Ms. Owens? If you need someone to talk to, I can always arrange an appointment for you. I know this is a huge change, and you may need some time to decide what's your next course of action."

"H-how far along am I?" I stammer. I can't do this. I can't do this.

"Mmm.. according to the date of your last menstrual cycle, I'd presume you may be approximately 4-5 weeks pregnant. If you want, we can do an ultrasound now so we can see better." He gestures to the bed at the left of the room.

I nod, following him and allow him to squirt the cold gel on my belly. It's not the first time I've had an ultrasound done, and it surely isn't going to make me happy now doing one. I'm not even ready for a child, for god's sake!

Dr. Mike glides the equipment on my belly for a minute in silence while I carefully watch the monitor. Obviously, I can't tell what is what. So I wait patiently for him to inform me.

"I can't seem to find a sac. It may be because it's too early, but there's also a possibility of it being an ectopic pregnancy. Just to be sure, I recommend that we do a blood test to check your hCG level." He suggested.

I agreed and let him prick a needle in me. I didn't even feel the pain. I practically blanked out, not knowing what to think. It's overwhelming me that a couple of days ago, I was thinking about the fact that Zac made someone else pregnant and now, I'm pregnant too.

I mean, what am I going to do?

———

As per Dr. Mike's direction, I am to return to him one week later to take another blood test. That one week, I lived like I was lost. My only distraction was going to class, so I made sure I got to every lecture early and left the latest.

I could no longer spend my nights drinking away now that I found out I'm pregnant. In fact, I even tried to cut down on smoking; although some days I couldn't help but still grab a stick or two—I was simply too stressed out and keeping this all to myself wasn't helping.

Cass and Ally both knew something was up with me. They assumed I simply had a fall-out with Zac since I kept making us avoid staying around on campus where we may chance across him and her.

Wayne brought up my absence from our usual lunch breaks once, but I made up a lie that Cass was the one who was going through some personal stuff and wanted space. I told him I was merely staying by her side as she needed me and he didn't seemed to suspect it.