Powerless {A.K.}

21.

Me: yeah totally dude!

Nick: yaaaaay :)) ok i gtg food is here. Talk to you later! 💚

Me: okay 💚

I put my phone away and look out at the empty space, thinking. What's it like to see this absolutely packed with fans and people that love you? Obviously I see it from an outsider perspective but imagine a personal view. What would that be like? The adrenaline coursing through your veins and the preshow rush you feel as the crowd screams your name.

"What are we thinking about today?" Awsten asks, sitting beside me. I look over at him and shrug.

"A lot of things really. I guess I'm just curious." I look out at the arena and lay my head on his shoulder, holding his hand.

"Back before we were even noticed I would do the exact thing you're doing. I would sit here and think about the future and wonder what it's like. Now that I'm here, it's crazy how things never change. I still do this. I still think about the future and how things will be a year from now or maybe ten years from now. It's insane how fast things change but stay the same. After all the shows we've done I still wonder what's next." He says, looking out at the arena with me.

"What's it like?" I ask, looking up at him some. He focused hard onto the thought, closing his eyes.

"It's like... driving for the first time? Everything is new and exciting and such a rush and you're terrified to mess up but with each turn you realize that everything is okay and that it's not as scary as it seemed." He explains, pausing to collect thoughts.

"It's the feeling before a piercing or a haircut or something. You know you'll love it but there's still the thought of what if this isn't what I wanted. I feel like every artist feels that at one point or another. It's the feeling of hugging your loved one after a long day. It's a sense of peace knowing wow, i did this. All of these people are here because i was brave enough to stand here. Because I was brave enough to share myself with the world." He continues, looking down at me. "Does any of that make sense?" He asks, laughing some.

"That was super deep." I say, yawning some. It was about 2 hours before the show started and I was already exhausted.

"Have you been sleeping?"

"yes."

"At normal times and for more than 2 hours?"

"No."

He sighs, wrapping his arm around my waist.  I snuggle closer and smile some. This was heaven. Just me, him, and the feeling of peace. Knowing that I could trust him with anything was such a relief. Knowing he wouldn't hurt me brought me peace.

"I'm stealing you tonight." He says and i look up, confused.

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"Lucas won't murder me if he doesn't know about it." He giggles some and I smile.

"It's a date night, knight."

"I hate you sometimes."

"I hate me too."

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"Are you sure about this?" I ask Awsten as we sneak onto his bus.

"Absolutely positively sure about this." He says, opening the curtain to the bunk before climbing in. I sigh, climbing in beside him.

"Jack is gonna kill me."

"What Jack doesn't know won't kill him."

"You don't know Jack like I do."

"Yeah, i know. It makes me jealous sometimes.." He admits, wrapping his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest and snuggle close.

"Why? You know i want you."

"Just... past situations. Specifically male bestfriends being too close kind of situations. He knows you so well and sometimes I feel like I barely do. I don't know.  You two are so close and have so much history. I feel like you'll change your mind about me."

"Never in a million years, Babe. Believe it or not, you're stuck with me."

"Stuck like glue, you and me baby we're stuck like glue." He quotes a song and I cringe.

"That was gross."

"Yep I regret every word of it."

We laugh and immediately stop when we hear the door open.

"You're so fucking loud. God. Secret sleepovers are supposed to be secret but you both laugh like hyenas." Alex says, walking over to the bunk. He rips the curtain back and we look at him, blushing.

"H-hey Alex I was uh-"

"Awsten if you lay one hand on her inappropriately I will personally steal your kneecaps and make you eat them." He says sternly making direct eye contact with Awsten.

"Y-yes sir!" He says and Alex smiles some before looking at me.

"Have fun sweetie, love ya." He says before walking away.

"Love you too???"

The  door closes and we look at each other, confused.

"My kneecaps???"

"I'm just as confused as you are."