Space They Cannot Touch

43.

As the pain ebbed, you opened your eyes enough to see you were in what could only be a recovery ward, other patients lying in beds like yours. You gingerly tried to sit up and were overcome by a coughing fit, compounding the pain in your abdomen, and you saw stars as each cough wracked you.

"Hold still dearie, I'm just going to give you something for the pain" someone murmured, their voice kind. 

"No, I *gasp* I need Tom" you whimpered, not wanting to slip back into the oblivion of unconsciousness, pain not withstanding. 

"Don't be silly" scolded the voice, and you felt the warm rush of morphine through your IV, carrying you off before you could protest.

**

"The surgery went well and we saw no signs of endometriosis, which is fantastic. Hopefully when we do the follow up ultrasound we'll see some improvements in the uterine lining, which will be a good indicator for whether or not you two can start trying"

You'd been moved to a private ward. You could tell by how close everyone was to where you lay immobile. Your eyelids were stuck together, and you sluggishly tried to open them, to no avail. You could barely lift a hand to rub the sleep from them. Unable to move, you made a point of groaning, alerting whoever was in the room that you were now conscious.

"Y/N!"

Tom. His voice sounded tight, like it was stuck in his throat. He took hold of your hand that wasn't sporting the IV, rubbing it as he leant over and kissed your forehead. His hands were nice and warm, and you smiled a little.

"Hey" you mumbled, forcing your eyes open. Dr Mandapati, Tom, Nikki and your Dad were in the room. Tom had that line of worry between his brows and you weakly reached out a finger to push it flat. "Am I cured?" you asked softly. Tom chuckled, his frown softening.

"We're very happy with the outcome of the surgery. You did have a lot of pain when you came to in recovery, so we had to give you some more morphine" answered Dr Mandapati.

"What day is it?" you asked, squeezing Tom's hand as his thumbs pressed into the centre of your palm.

"It's still Friday, just late" Tom murmured. The lines that had been etched into his face moments ago had begun to fade, his eyes soft as he looked at you.

"Happy Birthday Handsome" you said softly, eyes for him only.

"Thank you Darling" Tom replied, kissing your knuckles again.

"Well, I think we'll let Y/N rest. Depending on how you're feeling, we may discharge you tonight" Dr Mandapati said. "Five minutes Tom"

Tom nodded politely, waiting until the others had left to turn to you and mutter "yeah right" to you, which made you chuckle, grimacing as your stomach ached.

"You ok?" Tom asked, nervous line reappearing between his brows.

"Never better" you replied through gritted teeth. "Tell you what though, if this is anything like what it feels like to actually give birth, I think I'll pass". Tom chuckled, the sound clearing your fuzzy head. Your guilt about all the stress you'd put him under lately popped into your mind again and you frowned. 

"I'm sorry Tom" you sighed morosely.

"What for?" he asked, clearly bemused by your apology.

"For all this. This never-ending drama that follows me around, and in turn you". Tom rolled his eyes. "I'm serious Tom! Is this how you imagined your life? Stumbling from one shit-storm to another, wondering when it's going to end?"

Tom sighed, stroking your cheek gently, his eyes fixed on yours. "To be honest Y/N, I didn't really imagine much of a life before you, beyond my career. So, as long as I can spend it with you, then I can accept that". Tom paused for a moment, fingertips resting against your rosy cheek. He leant forward as if to kiss you, his lips just out of your reach. "It isn't going to be like this forever, you know. It's just for now" he murmured softly.

You pouted, hoping he would kiss you. He didn't, eyes serious as he gazed at you. You grumbled, sinking a little deeper into the pillows. "You sound like a self-help motivational speaker" you sulked playfully.

"You're welcome" Tom sassed, quickly pecking your cheeks before sitting back in his chair. "Besides, you need to stop apologising for stuff you can't help, like your family or your thyroid"

"Shan't" you teased, sticking out your tongue. Tom rolled his eyes, but smiled at you. "So, I'm all good? I only woke up at the end there"

"Yeah, Doc says it went well and that it doesn't look like you've got endo"

"Cool" you replied, unsure what else to say. You didn't feel as sore as earlier, but you supposed that was the morphine dulling the pain. 

For a while you and Tom were quiet, holding each others hand, thumbs rubbing circles into the others hand, tracing an unseen pattern. It wasn't a sensual or erotic, though Tom did have the uncanny ability to arouse you with a featherlight touch of his fingers. This was like slipping on a pair of old jeans, worn but comfortable, fitting in all the right places; it felt like home.

"What are you thinking?" Tom asked quietly, his chin resting on your entangled hands.

You turned your face into the pillow slightly to hide your rising blush. "How it feels like home whenever I'm with you" you mumbled softly. Peeking a look at Tom you saw him smiling big, his cheeks slightly pink. "You?"

"The same" he admitted, grinning shyly.

You hid your face in the pillow again as your heart swelled with affection for him. You felt light and bubbly, relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever. 

Tom or morphine? you wondered vaguely.

"I wish we were already married" you sighed. "Be one less thing to worry about"

Tom smiled wistfully. "Same, but that ship has sailed Darling"

"I know. I just hate all the stress and drama of planning a wedding. Especially with everything else that's going on"

"Maybe that's a good reason to have it. Celebrate the good in spite of the bad. And, from what I hear, you've managed to rope Law and Zendaya into planning it" Tom teased.

You pretended to scowl at him. "To be fair, Dot called Zendaya, and then SHE roped Law into it. I just went along with it"

"I see" Tom smirked playfully.

"Speaking of, have you sorted your suit?"

"Yeah, Josh is doing a classic tux. I told him about Law styling you, so he and Law will probably come up with something to compliment each other"

"Pfft, and you called me out for roping in Z and Law"

Tom shrugged. "What are you doing for your hens?"

"I don't know. My only instructions to Dot were no strippers"

"Good instructions"

"What do the boys have planned for you?"

"I don't know, though I requested the same"

"Great minds think alike" you mumbled sleepily, stifling a yawn.

"Get some sleep. I'll be here"

"No, it's your birthday and I want to spend time with you" you pouted, unable to hold back an exaggerated yawn, blinking sleepily. Tom chuckled, brushing a stray hair from your face.

"Go to sleep. I'm not going anywhere"

"Okay, but only five minutes"

"Okay, five minutes it is" Tom replied soothingly, his knowing smile telling you that he knew your nap would be far longer than five minutes. You smiled drowsily, happy to fall asleep knowing he was beside you.