Space They Cannot Touch

31.

The room suddenly felt icy cold, the hairs on your arms sticking up. You could hear your heart thudding loudly in your ears. Your mouth felt dry. Tom's hand was tense on your shoulder and you heard him swear, his voice distant despite how close he was to you.

"Tom, I have to ask. When you two experiment, do you..."

"It was her ex. He...raped her". Tom sounded like he was fighting for control and you wanted to reach out to him, but you arms weren't working. Their voices were faint, muffled, as if you were in a bubble on your own. All you could do was stare dully at the wall, trapped in your head.

You should have known. All those nights when you would be asleep and Jack would...An image of his laptop, the screen filled with videos and images, popped into your head. You swallowed, pushing it away vehemently.

Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest and you focused on breathing deeply, trying to regulate it. As your heart steadied, your hearing became less jumbled and you could make out what they were saying.

"Would the scarring...would it affect her ability to have children?" Tom asked quietly.

"The scarring won't. Though it would increase the likelihood of physical trauma during childbirth"

"The scarring won't?"

Dr Mandapati sighed heavily. "But if she has amenorrhea for too long her fertility will be affected, thus affecting her ability to conceive. And that's if she doesn't also have a hormone imbalance or undiagnosed condition."

"Can everyone shut up for a second?" you snapped. You didn't want to talk about that right now. In fact, you didn't want to talk at all. Tom turned to look at you, his eyes tortured and you ran a hand shakily through your hair.

"I'll give you two a minute" Dr. Mandapati murmured.

She closed the door quietly behind her and you slumped, collapsing in on yourself. Tom pulled you into his chest, your body quivering with nervous energy. He gently rubbed your back, kissing the top of your head. He shifted to cup your cheeks and lifted your face to look at you, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks gently.

"It'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you, ever again"

You nodded. You tried smiling at him but you couldn't manage it. You swallowed the lump in your throat, eyes pricking with hot tears. "I hate Jack" you whispered.

"So do I"

"God" you sniffled dejectedly. "Can today get any worse?"

"You still have to get a blood test"

"It was a rhetorical question Tom" you sulked, scrunching up your face.

"I'm sorry love. If I could do anything, I would. But all I can think of doing is beating Jack to a pulp"

"Yeah, as much as I would enjoy watching that it won't help"

"Thought so. Um, how many times have you had that specu-thingy done?"

You chuckled. Trust him to make you smile right now. "A couple of times. Supposed to have it done every few years or so, but I keep forgetting. And it's called a Pap smear. They take a swab from your cervix and then send it off to check if you have cervical cancer or something. Though it doesn't usually take so long or hurt so much"

Tom's face was scrunched up in aversion. "I'm so glad I'm a guy"

"You should do something really special for your Mum for Mother's Day, and her birthday. She had four boys"

"Yeah"

You sighed. "You better go get the doc. Else we'll be here all day"

Tom kissed you, his lips soft and sweet against yours. He opened the door and she came back in, her eyes kind.