Lola

27

I couldn't possibly leave things like this. "Yes please. Thanks Kel. Cam is lucky to have you looking after him."

She laughs. "It's not just me - the whole team has got his back and that's including you. Besides, there's been plenty of times when he's had to look after me."

"I see. Well, thanks again for letting me know. I hope he's alright."

"Don't worry, he couldn't have lasted long in a friendship with me without developing a thick skin. He'll be fine. Try to relax and get some sleep, okay?"

"I'll do my best. Night, Kel."

I hang up, put down my phone numbly. That was not a call I was expecting.

I close my laptop and switch off the lights. Sleeping tonight will be a challenge.

Cam

I wake up much warmer than when I fell asleep. I check my clock and realise that it's already 11 o'clock. Somehow I've slept for most of the morning, and yet I still feel like I've been hit by a bus.

I haul myself out of bed and trudge down the hallway to the kitchen. My mum is standing at the stove, stirring what appears to me some sort of stew. She turns at the sound of my footsteps. "Hi, honey. Your sister's already at school, so it's just you and me today."

I rub my eyes blearily. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

She shrugs. "Work can wait. There are more important things for me to take care of today."

I feel my face flush with embarrassment. Something about plunging into ice-cold water seems to have knocked some sense back into me. Thinking about how I acted yesterday is a lot more than embarrassing. I sit down at the table as mum takes the soup off the stove. She sits down opposite me and looks at me with concern in her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

How am I supposed to answer that? I shrug. "I'm okay."

"Do you want to tell me about what happened yesterday?"

Of course I don't. I shrug again. "What exactly do you want to know?"

"Well, I'd like to know where you were all day and why you ended up off the end of that godforsaken pier like that friend of yours did."

"I wasn't trying to...do what she did."

Something in her visibly relaxes. "I'm glad, honey. But what happened? You can tell me, I won't be angry."

Explaining everything that led me to the point of jumping off that pier with no logic or reason seems impossible. But looking into my mother's broken eyes, I know that I have to try. "Lola's brother posted her suicide note online today."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. You know it's not your fault."

"Yeah, I guess so. I just didn't like it cause I suppose I was still kind of hoping that maybe she didn't really do it."

My mother says nothing, but nods sadly.

I continue. "I thought that maybe she'd left another letter just for me and maybe Dani to read because we were her best friends. The note online didn't say much and I just didn't understand why she would do that. I left school looking for the note. Dani and the others tried to tell me there wasn't one but I wouldn't listen."

"Where did you go looking?"

"The quarry where Lola and I used to have picnics and play soccer. I searched for ages and I fell asleep in one of the old buildings and it was dark when I woke up."

"Is that where all your cuts and grazes are from? I can't imagine the ground being very nice to search."

I nod, looking down at my grazed hands, knees and legs. "After I woke up I drove to the pier. I know it's stupid, but for some reason I thought Lola might have hidden the second note underneath so it was out of sight to the public. I jumped in before giving it a second thought and realised that I had no way to get back up. That's when you found me."