Darker Days

* 20 *

{Rick's POV}edfcvcv

She is mad and I don't blame her. I know I'm being an asshole but I don't know what to say. I know I have nothing to be this jealous about and I am being an idiot. Merle convinced me of that but I still hate seeing her around him. Maybe because I can't let myself open up and be that guy for her and Merle seems to do it so easily. On top of that, she'd be taking on a lot more than just me. It's not fair for her to raise two kids she has no ties to in this new world, it's not her job. No, I can't do that to her and I can't keep shutting her out like this. I can't keep hurting her. It's better this way. 

I turn around and see her as she is leaving Maggie. She didn't look back this time, she always looks back. I've screwed this up, she's really done. Suddenly I hit the ground. A walker has a hold of my ankle and is snapping at the fence trying to get to me. I kick its head through the fence trying to get it to let go when an ax comes down on its wrist separating its hand from the rest of its body. Maggie holds out a hand to help me up. "Thanks, Maggie," I said, "I'm glad you were close by." She just glares at me. "What?" I asked her. She drops the ax down by her feet, "Go talk to her before it's too late."

I find her with Judith in my cell. She is going through Judy's things, looking almost a little flustered. The third time I say her name is the time she finally hears me. "Hmm, oh, hey Chief, " I am leaning against the door frame watching her and trying to think of what to say. "Everything alright?" That's the only thing I can think of at the moment. Rachel shakes her head. 

"Judy is getting low on formula," she says as she walks over handing my daughter to me, and runs off.

{End Rick's POV}

I run to my cell and grab my bag before heading out to find Maggie. I hadn't even noticed I was passing Rick's cell again until a hand grabbed my arm.

"Where are you going?" Rick asks.

"I'm going on a formula run, figured I would take Maggie. She knows where the formula spots are." Rick rubs the back of his neck, "Do you have to be the one to go out on this run?" I nod.

"Yeah, I kinda do," I tell him. He lets go of my arm.

"Okay, just be careful. I want to talk when you get back." I make no facial expression and nod to him. 

"Always am Chief," I tell him flatly before disappearing.

I can't keep the grin from creeping onto my face as I walk outside looking for Maggie. She and Glenn are up in the guard tower... again. That was quick, I just left her. I call out to her and after a minute she pops her head over the railing. "Formula run! You coming?" I hear the Dixon brothers behind me laughing. I turn trying to be serious but fail as I realize what I just said. "Grow up you two!' I say behind a veil of laughter. Maggie and Glenn both make it down from their little hideaway, ready for this run.

Maggie is driving and she and Glenn are exchanging looks and giggles. "What!?" I finally ask glaring at the two of them. They snicker looking somewhere behind me. I turn my head to see Rick watching from the bridge. I blush as he continues to stare at me, I guess.

"Why can't you and Rick just hook up already?" Maggie laughs causing me to turn back to them. I shake my head climbing into the back seat behind Glenn. He is laughing, singing, "Rick and Rachel sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." I flush even redder if that is possible and swat the back of his seat.

"Shut up, Glenn," I try to sound angry but it comes out as more of a chuckle. Just then the other door pops open and Merle jumps in. "I wanna help." Maggie and Glenn don't look too pleased with this but they allow him to come along anyway.

After a while, Maggie finally speaks again, "seriously, we are all a little curious as to what's going on with you and Rick?" I shrug her question off and stare out the window. I felt all excited at the idea of Rick wanting to talk but my fear's come back. How long will those butterflies I felt and the talking last before he flips on me again? I can feel all eyes on me. I don't have an answer for them because I don't know myself. Merle has a solemn look on his face, he knows more than anybody the craziness between me and Rick.

"Well?" I look at Glenn and try to collect my thoughts for a minute before finally deciding on what to tell them.

"Nothing is going on." Maggie and Glenn both turn around to stare back out the windshield, noticing the sound of my voice.

"Well, there should be. You and Rick make a damn cute couple." Maggie said and Glenn adds, "Rick needs a nice girl, he deserves to be happy after all he's been through." My thoughts are now consumed with Rick and what little I know about what he's been through. We ride in silence the rest of the way.

~~~~~~~~

The run is going off flawlessly as we grab all the formula that is left. Looks like we are going to have to find a new spot from here on out. It is starting to get late and Glenn is itching to get back. "Come on," he said, "It's getting dark. We need to get back."

Merle laughs, "Take it easy chinaman, you're actin' like a scared little girl."

Glenn glares at him, "I'm Korean."

"He's Korean," I say at the same time as Glenn which causes the two of us to chuckle.

Merle looks between him and me with his typical Dixon smirk, "Whatever. What are y'all twins now?" I roll my eyes at him and then look back over my shoulder. I missed it on the way out but, I can't leave it now that I have seen it.

"Go on, I'll be there in a sec. There's one more thing I have to get."

Merle looks at me with a confused look but agrees, "Okay but hurry up." I turn the corner just inside the door and grab the item out of the window. I stuff it into my bag and start to the car. Just as I put my hand on the car door Merle asks, "you get what you wanted?" I nod and smile until I notice the smile drop from Merle's face. He looks scared, which for Merle is a big deal. I turn to see what has him all freaked out just as the walker behind me lunges. I hold him back trying to keep him from taking a bite out of me and reaching for my knife at the same time. He has a hold of me and he's snarling with a combination of spit, blood, and putrefied gunk falling out of his face. I am now pressed against the car and everything dripping out of his disgusting face is now dripping onto me. I finally get my knife free and plunge it into his softened skull. I wipe my blade on my jeans as he falls to the ground and I turn, reaching for the car door handle again. Before I can get a grip another rotten hand lands on my arm. I try to pull away from her but her grip is strong. As soon as I feel her strong hand grip my arm I feel it loosen again. I turn to see her falling to the ground with Merle standing beside her crumpled body and blood dripping from his knife-hand. "Damn shame, she is pretty hot for a dead broad. Hell, I'd probably still bang her." Merle laughs and I growl, rolling my eyes.

"Gross Merle!" He grabs my arm opening the car door. Maggie has it fired up and in drive, just waiting on us to dive in. Merle shoves me in and jumps in after, slamming the car door shut just as one of the walkers slams his face into the window smearing blood all over it.

Oblivious to that Merle begins looking me over to see if I've been bit or scratched. Maggie peels out and heads back to the prison. "You okay?" I am shaking and tears are filling my eyes.

"Yeah," I tell him, "I'll be fine. Adrenaline, just adrenaline."

I turn away quickly to look out the window and I whisper without turning back, "Thank you, Merle." He didn't say a word. Instead, he pulls me into a hug. "I am glad you were here to have my back." Merle hugs me tighter as we ride in silence back to the prison.