Darker Days

* 20 *

©JRF2015-2022

It's been three days since the Merle incident and Rick has been avoiding me all day, every day. I have been helping Beth out with Judy these last three days, hoping that will make Rick have to talk to me. But he still manages to avoid saying anything at all to me. In fact, every time I get close to him he runs off. He is out in the fields this morning as usual and I walk in that direction. I cannot take this anymore, I need to talk to him. He looks up to see me walking toward him, glares at me, and turns his back. The look on his face tells me he is still not in the mood to deal with me. I see his head drop. I have come to a complete stop in my trek and seem to be frozen, waiting on something... anything. Finally, he turns back around and almost looks apologetic but goes right back to his crops. Instead of taking that as a hint to go on over I turn to my right and go sit with Daryl and Merle. I plop down on the bench in between the two of them. Daryl smiles at his big brother and they both look at me. "What?" I ask them.

"You and ol' Officer Friendly ain't kissed and made up yet?" Merle asked me.

"Are you kidding? He won't even look at me let alone kiss and makeup." 

Merle drapes his arm around my shoulder, "He still bein' a jerk about our little misunderstandin'. You want me to straighten his ass out for ya? I haven't handed out any good ass whoopin's in a while," I laugh and shake my head. The brothers exchange a look and start snickering. I stand up, facing them as I stare down at them. "What do you two find so funny?" 

"You and Rick," Daryl releases another snicker. I roll my eyes and look away.

"Everybody can see it," Merle teases, "don't know why the two of you can't or try to deny it." I shake my head sitting back down. 

"Not trying to deny anything, I see perfectly fine. But the two of you are getting a little annoying." A round of laughter sounds from the three of us. 

Daryl speaks up, "Rick just needs some time to stew."

"It's been three days," I sigh, "How much longer does he need?"

Daryl shrugs, "He knows you love him and he loves you too, he'll come around eventually." Daryl now leans back to look at his brother around me, "I am confused at how Merle is only just now beginning to annoy you though. He's never taken this long to annoy anyone. Seems like you're losing your touch big brother." Merle laughs before reaching around me to punch Daryl in the arm. 

"You're just jealous you don't have my sparklin' personality."

I throw my arms around the Dixon brothers. "Gentlemen, it's been fun but I gotta get up and do some work around here. You two should think about doing the same."

"Damn, slave driver," Merle scoffs jokingly. I catch a glimpse of Rick, now at the fence,  and he is staring at the three of us intently. He spins around, back to us, and begins stabbing the dead in a frenzy. "Maybe I should go and try a little harder to talk to him. Maybe he's just waiting for me to initiate the conversation and get us back on track."

Daryl nods, "Yeah, you're right three days is a long enough for him to stew in his ridiculousness. Let 'im know what he's missin' by being a jackass." I take a deep breath and stand up, "Here goes." I whisper as I start walking down to the fence.

Rick seems to be in a trance-like state as he continues his raging murder spree on those mindless freaks. One after another falls to the ground and Rick moves on to the next in line without a pause in between. "Rick," I gently call out as I get closer. He doesn't stop or turn around to acknowledge me. "Rick!" I shout this time, thinking that my voice was too soft for him to hear me. He does stop this time but just stares at the ground catching his breath. "Talk to me Rick," I plead, "Please. Or at least listen to me. Let me explain." He still doesn't move. After what seems like an eternity of silence I throw my hands up, "okay, then, nothing is going on with me and Merle. That night you think you saw something," Rick throws his hand up to stop me before picking up the spear and killing the dead again. He doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't care at all. Exasperated, I grit my teeth, "So you're going continue to pout? You're just gonna keep ignoring me?" Nothing, not a word comes from Rick Grimes. "That's just great then, keep acting like a big baby. It's not like I need you anyway!" I can feel tears welling up in my eyes but there is no way I am going to let them fall, not around him. He doesn't get to see me fall apart. If he can act like he doesn't care so can I. Turning my back on Rick Grimes for the last time -- or at least that's what I keep telling myself -- I walk back up to the prison. I get only a few steps away when someone grabs my arm. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest, and I can't help but smile. "Rick..." I say with excitement in my voice as I turn to see Maggie, "Oh hey Maggie. What's up?" All the excitement leaves my voice as she stares at me with sadness in her eyes. "Huh, don't act so excited to see me," Maggie tries to lighten the mood but it is not working. "You okay?" I shake my head and continue my walk back to the cell block.