Bück Dich [Revising]

Chapter 15: Heilige Scheiß

FLAKE'S POV

I reluctantly make my way to Till. Once I arrive, I receive an earful.

"Flake, no. What are you doi- go. This is something I'm in trouble for, okay?" Till attempts to persuade, but Paul butts in immediately with the cold-hard truth.

"In trouble? It's more than that, Till. As for you, Flake, what the fuck? Why are you still around Till? Last I saw you, you were infuriated, and you threw his phone at him. Why- Flake, no. You out of anyone shouldn't be this illogical. Have you forgotten that right after that whole ordeal occurred he slept with a random lady?" Paul continues to shout at me. I remain unresponsive and quite terrified at the fact that my longtime friend is lashing out at me. "Answer me, goddammit!" He closes up on me. I glance down at him, tears filling my eyes. I look away and remain motionless. "It's no wonder why you got hurt in the first place. Look at how you let yourself get treated! You don't want to be mad at him, huh? Flake, he raped you! What part of that confuses you? He doesn't love you! He sees you as some...sexual object! That's how he sees everyone he shows any slight interest in! Look at all of our Rammstein performances! At least one act involves something sexual. Why is that so hard for you to understand this? Stop avoiding eye contact!"

"Hey, Paul. For your fucking information, I do that because I see it as a joke. As for what I did to Flake, I'm tremendously sorry. I've apologized to him, and we have come to a compromise. Look at you yelling and telling him shit for having a heart. For being his best friend, you sure are shitty at it."

"Oh, like you're any better, Till. You raped him; I didn't. I needn't remind you again."

"Paul, shut your fucking mouth. You wouldn't be in this band if it weren't for me. No one else really wanted you here other than the both of us." Till motions over at himself then me. I glance over at Richard. His face has been pale for some time now.

"If I would've known this would have happened, I wouldn't have joined. Just like always, I go underappreciated. I do so much for this band, and nobody gives a damn."

"Paul, do not even go there." Richard interrupts as the color on his face rushes back. His ears are a bright red as his chest heaves accordingly to his anger. Landers shows no amusement in this reaction.

"Oh? Now you too? How about you stay out of this, Richard? This doesn't concern you." Paul responds, full of rage.

"You're one to talk!" Till spits out as he approaches Paul with quick, well-paced steps. I pull Till's arm back in hopes of getting him to retreat to his previous position. Lindemann seems to have gotten the hint. He takes a step back and holds my hand. Knowing Till, he's probably doing this to calm himself. I hope that things do not escalate any further. The current situation is already bad as it is.

"Okay? And? Do I not have the right to care about my friend's mental stability?" Paul argues as he raises a hand at Till. Till paces his breath, but I can clearly see this is all getting to him. I tightly hold onto his hand.

"You have the right to care. You don't have the right to judge your friend though. Don't claim to care about him if you're going to yell at him like this." Till politely rushes out, without breaking contact with Landers.

"It's obvious he will not learn any other way. He loves you, Till. Love blinds others. As much as it hurts me to yell at him, he needs to understand that you're harming him. If he won't understand, then you should. Stay away from him."

"Paul, this isn't necessary-" Richard starts up but is soon cut off by Paul.

"And why not? All of this time you have been siding with that rapist. You have no say in this, Kruspe." Paul barks back, intently staring at the lead guitarist with a look full of hate.

"Don't you dare, Paul. Till is my friend too. He's more like family to me than my actual family. I understand the illogical things he has done. Does it excuse him? Of course not! I'm not saying that. I'm saying Till shouldn't be yelled at like this. It's obvious he feels bad enough."

"As he should! He hurt and used my friend!"

"And I understand that. I understand why you're mad. You should be, but this reaction isn't necessary. It's just hurting everyone, and it isn't helping!"

"Well, no shit, Kruspe! No one listens anyway. All of a sudden they care what I have to say!?"

"Since when have we never care-"

Paul loses it and starts shouting at Richard at full volume. Richard reciprocates this rageful act. Passerbys glance over at us and stop to see how this plays out. I blush in embarrassment. This ordeal became bigger than necessary.

"Oh, so I'm the problem? This is why we went to therapy!" Richard exclaims as he throws his arms out in frustration.

The argument continues between them before Paul has the last straw. His patience runs out, and he stares over at Till and heavily breathes.

"I'm so sick of this. I'm leaving Rammstein."

"Wha...what?" Richard stammers out in utter disbelief.

"You heard me. Best of luck. See you all never." He continues as he pulls the keys out of this pocket and walks off.

"Paul, you idiot! You drove us here! At least take us home first." Richard exclaims as he runs over to Landers.

"Right. First that, then goodbye to this shitty mess you created."

"Wait, Paul...what about us?"

"I'll talk to you separately then."

Poor Oliver and Schneider were dragged into this. I hope they get home safely at least. Paul isn't in the best of moods after all. I glance over and see Till, tears streaming down his cheeks. Such a pitiful sight I had the misfortune to witness. Right then, Till lets go of my hand. I turn pale.

"Till?" I meekly ask.

"Don't...if it makes this whole mess better, I'll leave the band then." Till pours out, refusing to glance at anyone.

"What?!" Richard turns back around, shocked.

I stand there, dumbfounded at what Till had just said. I look back at him and gulp. He's very emotional at the moment. I'm not sure if attempting to persuade him otherwise is the right choice of actions. I sigh and remain silent.

What is Till doing?

-

Originally written: May 11, 2019