Philophobia // Jake Webber or Colby Brock?

Chapter 16

I didn't know what to do so I just sat there crying. I felt a hug from behind me but I didn't care to look up and see who it was. I heard a soft voice say "Do you want to come over to my place for a bit to talk". I recognized the voice which was Tara's. I shook my head yes and she helped me up.

•time skip•

The whole way over to Tara's place I didn't say a word, I just watched the world go by the window as tears ran down my face. When we got there we both got in the car and went inside. We walked into her bedroom and both sat down on the edge of the bed. I put my face in my hands and rested my elbows on my thighs. "Sasha, he really does love you. Just give him time" she said trying to break the silence that was filling up the room. "How do you know, he said it was too late" I cried out "hun he's drunk and high right now, it's messing with his brain trust me. He told me himself that he loves you and would do anything to go back but he knew he couldn't" she said getting up and grabbing a stuffed animal. She threw it next to me and I grabbed it and hugged it saying "but he could have". "He didn't think you liked him, he thought he was trying to push you to do something you didn't want to do and you were letting him off easy so he decided to leave and make it easier on you even if it meant breaking him" she said coming back over to sit next to me. "Can I tell you something" she asked me "sure" I answered her. "I like Jake" her saying this made my heart drop to the floor. "Oh" I said trying not to sound as hurt I was was feeling. "I tried telling him earlier when Aubrie and I were picking him up from the car crash but he told me he just wanted you" she said with her voice cracking "he really hecking loves you" she said laughing a bit when she said hecking. "I'm sorry, he deserves something better then me, look what I did. You should go after him." I said then sniffled and wiped the tears off my face. "Don't you understand Sasha, he loves you" she said standing up and pointing at me "I don't know what it is about you but he's hooked on you. Do you see him right now? He's like a zombie. He thought leaving was going to save you and he was willing to completely zombify himself with weed and liquor just because he thought it would make you happier. He likes you not me, you, so treat him well and fix this if you really do like him, it hurts me to see him like this" she said pulling me up off the bed. "How do I fix it" I asked, "today, just go check on Gryffin he's really not doing good. Then tomorrow, when I get Jake sober, talk to him " "okay thank you for everything Tara" I hugged her and pulled out my phone. I opened a new contact and let her put her number in then I left and went home.

•time skip•

When I made it home I flopped on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't move for anything accept my phone making a noise. Every time my phone went off I'd scramble over to it hoping Jake would call but he never did. Eventually I fell asleep but I lost track of time of how long it was before I finally was out. I woke up and realized it was the next day and I felt guilty about not seeing Gryffin. I got out of bed and I skated over to the hospital Gryffin was in. I walked in and asked to see him but the nurses were confused on who I was asking for. "Gryffin, he got in a car crash" I pleaded out "ohh Gryffin, he's not seeing visitors right now he's not doing so good" "fuck" I said hitting my fist on the table "thank you though" I said running out of the room. When I got outside I sat on the bench next to the hospital. I started thinking about everything and broke down crying. 'Why am I like this' I thought to myself 'I fuck everything up, gryffins not even seeing visitors he's doing so awful and Jake hates me right now. Brennens hurt because of me. Colby is probably hurting because of me. Xephers barely talking to me. I just ruin everything good I have.' I sat there for half an hour just breaking down crying. I finally pulled myself together and skated to the traphouse. I walked in and saw Brennen walking out of the living room and into the kitchen and I ran up to him and hugged him. "Sasha are you okay" he asked me adjusting his grip to hug me harder. "Brennen I fucked up, I hate myself, I don't deserve to be here" I said with my voice cracking on his chest. "Hey... S... don't say that" he said hugging me even tighter "Sasha you are amazing why do you think I fought Beck for you, hmm" he asked me. I cried out "I don't know but you shouldn't have, I'm not worth it. I should have stayed with Beck he should have just killed me". He picked me up and walked me upstairs and into Colby's room then sat my down on his couch. "Colby's with Xepher so we can talk in here" he said turning on the light and closing the door. "I'm going to make this short and you can't say anything" I said as Brennen flopped down on the couch next to me and putting his arm around my neck. I leaned over on him and said "I really like Jake but I messed it up because I don't know how to love and he left me and Colby came over and stuff happened with and then Jake got into a car crash and Gryffins in the hospital and it's all my fault" I rambled everything out. "Aye princessa it's not all your fault" "Brennen.." I said but he cut me off "it's not your fault Todd and Beck gave you trust issues and loving issues, that's on them, and Jake should understand that" he said playing with my hair. "I pushed him away when he tried really hard to help me out and cared so much and I fucked up" I said as a single tear ran down my face. I sniffled and wiped it away from my eye, "anyways I am going to try and fix this, but I'm just worried about Gryffin" I said then Brennens phone rang he picked it up and pressed answer. "Uh huh, hey Colby, wait are you serious" he said then looked at me and stood up and started pacing around the room "oh my god, where's Jake, okay, thank you I'll tell her, bye" he hung up and slapped his hand on his forehead "shit" he yelled. "What happened" I asked sitting up straight. "Gryffin..." he squeaked out.