It's been a while since I've written anything.
I don't know what to write about. There really is nothing more to say unless I dwell on the topic of drama— which, unfortunately for you, is what I'm going to do.
But first I want to acknowledge that the last 11 months have been a blur.
I don't really remember everything. In fact, there's only a few vivid memories that I have to recall. There's nothing else but a feeling.
6 months ago I finally felt like someone loved me.
4 months ago I went insane.
3 months ago it went downhill.
2 months ago I became numb.
And then nothing.
I remember loving someone and thinking they loved me.
But I really am doubting that now.
Recalling Alexis's story (or really anything that has to do with her) is becoming increasingly difficult. But what I do know is this:
1. She broke up with me because her parents made her. She isn't allowed to date.
2. After that, she dated an eighth grader. I really didn't care. They broke up soon afterwards.
3. A new girl arrived and she likes me.
4. Alexis fought her over me.
There was no reason for that.
She's acting like I can't ever date another person. Yet she did.
The worst part is that I don't even like the new girl. If I did, I'd be dating her. But here's Alexis threatening to beat her up. And I didn't do anything or even care about the guy she dated.
How can she say she loves me when she doesn't trust me enough to come back to her when she can date?
And honestly?
I probably won't. I wanted to. But I just don't want to date anymore. I'm done.
