It is 2:30 PM. I have not done a single thing today except eat and write. I am in a terribke mental state, though I don't know why.
Things between me and my girlfriend are better, I guess. I mean that I don't feel like I'm trapped in a black hole or anything.
I have been writing a lot. I don't know why. I don't kniw anything anymore. All I know is that there are people I hate and people I love. I can't really go inbetween. I am neutral to some people, and I guess that's inbetween. But mostly I don't count them. Pretty much everything is all or nothing to me. Except nobody knows that because I don't care to tell them. Because I stopped caring. But that doesn't stop the questions. I still care about the questions.
Reality seems to be slipoing away,second by second. It seems that yesterday I was in Arkansas, preparing to come back home to Oklahoma. I remember those last few moments there the most.
But that was 9 weeks ago. It seems like such a long time and such a short time simultaneously. Rereading that,I really am questioning my sanity.
I can remember some things like they had just happened, and it's like I just delete everything else.
I don't know. Time is going too fast. I keep on thinking about what Ginger said to me about my girlfriend. They dated, and Ginger knew what options I had. "You either make moves or break up with her." I didn't have the courage to make moves or the heart to break up with her.
So I basically don't do anything. At least, that's my plan until the next school dance. I just have to stop thinking about doing things and just do them, and then everything becomes much simpler.
I don't understand why I am telling you all of this. I talk to myself all the time. So I don't understamd why I feel the need to write all of it. I already talk about it. To myself.
I am going insane. I just became very tired. I'm about to pass out. I need to end this letter.
Love always,
Zombastik
