I̶n̶f̶a̶t̶u̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n

Chapter 18

 4 months had passed since I went back to school for the first time after my O.D. and I decided it was time to talk to my mom about my weekly counseling sessions (I only went on Mondays since, after about a month, we decided I didn't need to go on Thursdays anymore). Jogging around my neighborhood, I made up my mind that I would talk to her as soon as I got home.

I had begun running every morning a couple of months ago. Not only did I want to try and lose weight and get into shape, but, once I got into it, running became kind of therapeutic for me. I always ran with music, of course. I also used the time to clear my head and sort through my thoughts. Most of the time I ran alone but occasionally Evan or Ari, my new best friend, would join me. Ari tended to talk a lot, though, so I tended not to invite her as often. Evan knew the desire and importance to run in silence, so he rarely said anything when he came with me. Still, I didn't invite him all of the time. Sometimes it was nice to run alone; have a chance to detox from everything and take some time for me.

I rounded the corner and could see my house a few lawns away and sprinted the rest of the distance. I crossed the sidewalk to my front door but paused a moment to catch my breath. Once I had, I went inside and immediately went to the bathroom to shower. The cold water felt good on my hot skin and muscles. After I finished, hair wrapped in a towel on to of my head, I headed to the kitchen for some water and something to eat. It was only 7:35 a.m. so I hadn't yet had anything for breakfast. After drinking two cups of ice water, I plucked a bagel out of a basket on the counter and sprawled out on the living room couch and turned the TV to my favorite show. This was my typical routine for my weekend morning runs. During the school week, though, I just ran, showered, and grabbed something on my way out the door.

My mom walked into the living room just as Torres was stepping on his favorite pair of sunglasses. I paused the show.

"Hey, morning, mom," I said.

"Could you turn the TV down?" she asked, her voice reflecting the fact that she'd just woken up. I obliged. "Thank you."

She turned to leave the room and before I had the chance to talk myself out of it, I said, "Hey, mom? Can we talk?"

"Of course," she replied, walking over to sit on the other end of the couch. "What do you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, it's been 4 months since everything went down and I guess I was wondering if there was any way that I could stop going to see Jane? I'm doing a lot better now and, honestly, I don't feel that I need her anymore. I haven't argued about going and I've gone whenever you asked and for however long you asked. Please?"

Just then, my dad walked into the living room, causing both of us to stop our discussion.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Come sit down, honey," my mom said, patting an empty seat beside her. "The three of us have something to talk about."

My mom nodded at me to continue, so I started from the beginning to catch my dad up. "I want to stop going to see Jane. I honestly don't feel like I need to go anymore. I've made tremendous progress since I've been going and feel that I am better now. Please, can I stop going?"

My mom looked at each other in some form of silent conversation. Finally, my mom said, "Give us a few minutes to talk about it."

"If it's alright, I'm going to go out for a while. Give you two some time to talk."

"Alright, but don't be out for too long."

"Thanks," I said, grabbing my things and heading out the door. As I pulled out of the driveway, I dialed Evan's number. He picked up on the second ring.