I̶n̶f̶a̶t̶u̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n

Chapter 11

            The halls were crowded with people going to their 4th-period classes and I had to press myself between lockers and the crowd to get through. At first, no one noticed me, but then people started giving me looks of judgment and disgust. I wanted to disappear into nothingness and no one would find me. Then again, no one would miss me enough to wonder where I'd gone.

The first place I went to was the guidance counselor's office. Ms. Grindle said that she would talk to the principal about it and they would talk to Vince about what was going on. Yeah, like that would do a lot of good. He would just play it off like he never said anything at all.

The next place I went to was to Mr. Robitussin's room. He wasn't my 4th-period teacher, but he was Vince's. I had to confront him before the teachers did.

Everyone was in their seats, surprisingly. Though few of them were facing forward. They were turned in all different directions, talking to their friends. The only people who were facing forward like they were ready to start class at any given moment were the "front row geeks". You know, the ones who knew the answers to every question and would look around smugly when they got it right like they were superior to all of the other plebeians in the room. In movies, they usually got spitballs launched at their heads.

I crossed to the 4th row from the back in the middle of the aisle and stood behind Vince, awkward and unsure how to start the conversation. Finally, someone--one of his friends I would wager-- cleared their throat and nodded in my direction. Vince stopped talking and turned to face me. Surprise registered on his face before it was replaced with resentment and regret.

"I'll be right back, guys," Vince excused himself from the group and walked a few paces ahead of me to the door. Once we were both outside, he closed the door until it had a crack of light shining through it smaller than the width of a piece of paper.

"What do you want?" he asked with a sigh. He acted as if I was some roach that was in his way. I felt as if he might try and squash me under his foot.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, my voice coming out in a raspy whisper. I sounded like I'd been sick for a week and was just beginning to recover and it made me feel even weaker than I already did. I had to be strong to confront him. Strong and unbreakable.

I cleared my throat and tried again. "Why are you doing this to me?" My voice was a bit stronger, but not quite as courageous sounding as I'd hoped.

He smirked, but I could tell he regretted what he had done. "What? You didn't want people thinking that we'd done it?"

"We didn't and you know it." I was shaking and hoped he couldn't tell.

" So? Did you not love me enough to do it?"

I saw his facade falter. So, that's what this was about. He didn't think I had loved him. I took a deep breath before replying. "I did love you... I still love you." I wasn't entirely sure if I should have said that last part, but I did anyway. What was the harm now, anyway?

His face brightened in hope. "Do you really still love me?"

Do you know the story of The Little Mermaid? In the original, when she gets her tail turned legs, it isn't exactly as Disney makes it out to be. Whenever she took a step, or simply stood in place, it felt like she had knives stabbing and slicing her. She actually had cuts and sores on her feet and legs. That's how I felt standing there. Like knives were digging into my skin; ripping away the flesh.

"Yes," I replied, taking another deep breath. My room was starting to spin like it had last night and I fought to keep my vision from going spotty. "I still love you."

"Then why did you leave me?"

He looked so genuinely heartbroken that I nearly forgot about everything that had gone down over the past few days. Almost.

"You're not who I thought you were. You were pressing for all of the wrong things, and what you did after I left just proves my point." I paused, letting what I'd said sink in. I needed it to sink into me, too. My heart was heavy like it had an anchor attached to it, pulling me down towards the bottom of my ocean of tears.

"I'm the same person, Chanse," he said. His eyes were pleading with mine to let him back in. I felt my vigor wavering.

"You're not who I thought you were," I repeated it slowly, making sure he knew what I was saying.

"I've been hurt too many times, Vince. And not just by you." I thought of Evan and shook it away. "I just don't know how much more my heart can take. I'm not a punching bag that can take hit after hit and come back swinging. I can't. I can only take so much."

My eyes welled with tears and I swiped at them with my sleeve. I wasn't ready to start crying again. A sob shook my body and I bit my lower lip as a tear fell down my cheek, trying to keep the dam from bursting.

" Are you worth it? Tell me and I'll believe you. I want to believe you. Are you worth it."

He took my hand in his, looking deep into my eyes. He looked into them as if he could see all the demons that lay behind them. Cupping his other hand over my cheek as more tears fell from my eyes, he replied with the most gentle, genuine voice I'd ever heard him use.

"Yes, I'm worth it."

I gave him a small smile. "Then I believe you."

In one swift moment, he stepped towards me, closing the space between us. He took both hands and placed them on the curve of my hip and leaned in. Before I fully understood what was happening, I felt my lips connect with his. They were full and fit perfectly with mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and fit my body into the fold of his. And then it was over, just as quickly as it had started. We pulled apart, his lips slightly tinged with pink. My body was still electrified from the feeling of his and I blushed.

"Does this mean we're back together?" I needed to know.

He smiled. "Yeah, I guess it does."