I̶n̶f̶a̶t̶u̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n

Chapter 14

A/N: This chapter was particularly difficult to write, but I have pushed through. I hope you guys enjoy! <3

With the events of the previous night playing through my mind I knocked on the beige door. My parents were gone to work and it was a teacher workday at school, so I was by myself for the next 8 hours. Having gotten stir-crazy sitting around the house, I decided to go for a walk. Per usual, I found myself at the doorstep of Shawn's house. I wanted to talk to someone about the fire and what Evan had said to me but, knowing my parents certainly weren't the right ones for the job, I had unconsciously made the decision to talk to Shawn. This time I just didn't think Michelle would quite understand. Not the way Shawn would, at least.

The door opened and I was greeted by Shawn's familiar face.

"What's up, Chanse?" Shawn asked, barely looking up from his phone. It was fairly typical for me to show up unannounced, so Shawn had stopped giving me the "bonafide guest" treatment. Michelle still did from time to time, though.

"I'm flying solo until my parents get home, so I thought I'd swing by and talk," I responded, moving past him and into the living room.

"You couldn't just text or call me?" he asked in return, putting his phone aside. He must have realized that something was wrong.

"Nothing much. Something happened last night, though. I wanted to talk about it."

"Well, my mom's not home right now," he said, reaching to reclaim his phone. "You can hang out until she gets back if you want."

"Actually," I began somewhat nervously, "I thought I could talk to you about it. You are my best friend, after all."

Having grabbed his attention once more, Shawn sat down in the chair across from me, his phone tucked away in his pocket. My nerves began to grow in my chest as the words rose in my throat. True, he was my best friend, but there was still that underlying fear of judgment. He always said that Evan wasn't worth it, so it always made me a little cautious to talk to him about it.

"Evan's house was on fire last night."

"What?!"

Now I knew I had his undivided attention.

"There were rumors that it was a prank by some guys our age. That they were mocking him for what his mother did and things got out of hand. His sister, Maddy, died in the fire. He lost everything; his house, his possessions, and his sister. He kept saying that it was his fault that she died and that he had nothing left to live for. I told him that I would have to be enough for him. That what he still had would have to be enough. He told me it was and now I'm not really sure what to do. I love him so much and I'm not sure whether or not I should tell him that or not."

I took a deep breath, having run out of air. I knew that if I said it slowly or in increments then I would lose my nerve, so I said it quickly and all at once. I left better after getting it all out; lighter. As if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Shawn sat, however, with a blank look on his face. He took a breath before replying.

"You don't love him, Chanse," was the first thing he said. I was taken aback, but he didn't stop there.

"You barely know him. I think what you feel is pity. I understand that you want to help him, but you can't help everyone. In the same way, not everyone deserves help. He's not good for you. He's a lying asshole who doesn't respect anyone. He doesn't deserve you. You could do so much better than him."

Sparks of anger flared inside me and I glowered at him.

"How dare you speak that way about him? Evan is an amazing person who's more than just a charity case to me. If you were my best friend, you'd know that."