Creepy Things Kids Say [2]

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My daughter saw me getting dry skin off my shoulder after a bad sunburn and asked if she could keep my skin flakes and put them in a jar so when I die she can make a mommy mask and remember me always.

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We had just moved into a new house and two kids showed up at the door. When I asked if I could help them, one of them said, “our mom wants us to tell you, the old people who used to live here are buried at the end of the road.” They ran off and I have never seen those kids again to this day.

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When my daughter was 3 she woke up one morning looking rough. I asked if she slept okay and she said, “No! Popaw Mike kept me up all night pinching my toes!” My dad, her Popaw Mike, passed away 8 years before she was born and that’s how he used to wake my brother and I up when we were little.

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At my great uncle’s funeral she asked when he was going to turn into a zombie.

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My son telling me in the sweetest of voices in a consoling tone… “Don’t worry mommy, I’ll never murder you.”

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One night I let my then 3 year old sleep with me because my husband was gone. It was dead quiet in the house and she whispers “Ive got ya where I want ya and now I’m gonna eat ya”.

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When my son was three, he came and climbed into bed with us, crying. I asked what was wrong, he said that the big fat man with a bloody hole in his head kept trying to open his window.

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My best friend Lisa died when I was pregnant with my daughter. When my daughter was 3 I heard her laughing. I said ” what are you laughing at?” She said ” auntie Lisa is making silly faces at me and playing with me.”

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When my daughter was 4, I heard her singing a song that my mom always sang to me when I was young. I asked her where she learned it, she told me that her grandma taught it to her. My mom passed away 6 years before my daughter was born.

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“Mommy why is the man by the fan staring at me?” We were in bed about to sleep…..there was nothing by the standing fan….I still don’t like that damn fan…

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When she was about 18months old, my Grandpa George died. We had a photo of my Grandparents on the fridge right alongside those alphabet magnets that all toddlers have. The day of the funeral, I was getting her breakfast ready while she played with the magnets. I turned around and she has spelled GEORGE right under my Grandparents photo.

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I recently had an Ectopic pregnancy, I’ve been really sad. my little boy told me “Mommy I can be the baby in your tummy, but you have to eat me first!”

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My five year old has stuck to this SAME story since he was 3: I remember my last mom and dad died and you found me, remember, I was on the side of the road when you found me as a baby. I had a little sister before but she’s dead too.

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I was pregnant and working as a preschool teacher. One of the little girls was very curious about my pregnancy so we were talking about it. Somehow we got on the subject of how the baby might come out. She looked me dead in the face and said, “You know, they’re going to have to cut it out of you.” As you can imagine I was kind of surprised but managed to deflect and say, ” Well, if they don’t cut it out of me, what are some other ways that the baby might come out?” Again, she looked at me dead in the face and said, “I think that baby might just crawl right out of your mouth.”

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The other day on the train my 4 year old daughter told me “Mama, I’ll love you forever until you die, but when you die, I’ll hate you.” I asked her why she would hate me and she said “Because then you’ll just be bones and I’ll let Juno (our dog) chew on them.”

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My 3-yo daughter said, “You’re the best mommy I have had so far…”. I said “I am the only mommy you have had!” As she walked away she said, “That’s what all the other mommies said, too!”

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About 2 months ago my 6 yr old son says, “Mommy, when you die I will put you in a glass box on my dining room table…don’t worry I will make sure my wife knows how to dust you so you wont get dirty.”

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“Mommy, the lady in the white car is okay, she didn’t die, there was an angel in the car with her.” – my son, age 2. An hour later I turned on the news and a lady in a white Cadillac had driven off the Portland bridge, but swam to safety. She reported seeing a bright light that broke her window and urged her to swim. Emergency personnel said she should have drowned.

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