Hierarchy of Need [t.r]

Chapter Thirteen

  Shocked. That's what Delilah was. She didn't believe Abraxas, of course. How could he know the true depth of how Tom felt about her? She shook her head, if she thought too much about the possibility of Tom even remotely liking her, she'd get a migraine. "Enough about me, who's this person you're so conflicted about?"

  That blush returned to Abraxas' cheeks and he cleared his throat. But his expression wasn't one of embarrassment, he looked dejected, his shoulders shrunken in on himself as he sat slouched. "Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough to love someone? Or to be loved?"

  Yes. She could admit that to herself, but not to him. Not yet.

  "It's just," he let out a heavy breath and raked a hand through his platinum blond curls. "Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "this is it," just the sight of them enchants you, even when they're not around. And when you kiss them the world just fades, it's just you and them. And you'd rather die than see them get hurt. But you're afraid to lean on the feeling too much incase it crumbles. And then your afraid the whole world is gone and it feels like it wasn't even there in the first place."

  Abraxas had never felt so vulnerable. He was laying his heart out and he was afraid some creature would burst through the door and stomp on it.

  For the first time in the four months she's been in the past, Delilah felt like she was truly seeing Abraxas for the first time. He was a boy who loved deeply. And he might not even realize it.

  "Abraxas, I-" She began but stopped short. His bright eyes wandered up to look at her, he seemed timid and Delilah offered him her best smile. "I don't know your full circumstances, and I'm not going to ask you to tell me. You've already told me so much more than I'm sure you were completely comfortable with, and I just want to say thank you for trusting me with that." She reached across the small distance between them and gripped his hands, running her thumb softly over his knuckles.

  "I can't speak from experience. I don't think I've ever felt the way you do about anyone, but I've seen it. And it's beautiful. And it's okay to latch onto that raw feeling you get deep in your chest, don't be afraid of it. It may seem terrifying, and it is. But grab hold of it and never let go. It's an awful thing not to love, not to be loved, it's a dreadful thing. And the fear of it slipping through your fingers is understandable. But if it's real, it will last forever. Don't let the opportunity die before it has the chance to grow. Run to it, before it flares and fades forever."

  Her heart ached at the sight of tears in his eyes. A Malfoy didn't cry, they weren't allowed such weakness. They were taught to be prideful, strong, and in control. Delilah imagined he wasn't permitted to feel such emotions at home. She had a hard time believing the boy in front of her was the one to raise Lucius Malfoy. The boy in front of her wasn't cruel or cowardly.

  He was a boy afraid to love, fearing the world would yank it away from him at laugh at his despair.

  "He doesn't deserve you, you know."

  Delilah let out a small yelp as Abraxas tugged her forward and into a bone crushing hug, he buried his face into her shoulder and she rubbed his back a bit awkwardly. She wasn't good at this sort of thing. "Who?" She hoped he wasn't talking about Elio, because she was the one who didn't deserve him.

"Riddle, he doesn't deserve you." He mumbled into her shirt.

  She was about to retort her same spew about how they hate each other, but Abraxas shook his head. "I'm not about to sit here and say I understand anything he might've put you through, but you give more of yourself to him than he deserves. He treats everyone like they're an object, useful only when he sees fit. Yet here you are, not letting him tear you down like Olive. She gave him a part of herself and he crushed it into dust, and it ruined her. The poor girl has severe trust issues, you do know that right? And that's Riddles fault.