Finding My Heart(Under Editing)

Chapter 34 | Punished

"He punched me and started saying you will love me. He-he's broken inside. He started sobbing into my shoulder," she said, rushing through every word she said. "He needs help." She looked at me dead in the eye, not breaking eye contact.

"That-heh," I raised, covering my mouth. "He needs to be taught a lesson. He can't keep on doing this you. He doesn't need help, he needs to burn in hell," I screamed as I stood and backed up, pointing right at Ada. Her eyes widened.

"You don't get it. He's mentally ill. He needs therapy or something. Not you bashing his face in again. Do you think I don't know that you're slipping in your grades? You can lose so many opportunities because of this, and you don't care! You're being too selfish to realize that you're not the only person dealing with his loss. God, your mom? Your dad? Brother?.. your little brother is struggling and you keep pushing him away because your favorite brother is dead!"

Stunned, I tripped into the seat nearby. She continued to stare at me, her stare burning into me. The anger bubbled within me.

"Don't bring my brother into this. We aren't talking about that. This conversation is supposed to be about Braxton, not my family life. You can't do that. Not you," I responded, irritation rising.

"You are letting what Braxton is doing in my life control yours. You shouldn't be worrying about what he's doing to me. I know how to defend and protect myself," she said in a shaky voice.

"Can you say the same about when he almost raped you?" My voice cracked right before the word raped.

"You have no right. No right!" Her face turned red in anger. I made a mistake. Tears began to freely stream from her eyes. "Get out." She said quietly. My eyes water and I go up to her cautiously, hair in face. I tried grabbing her hand, but she pushed me away.

"I said get out!" She screamed, looking at me with hatred in her eyes. Oh God, I messed up so badly. I was the worst boyfriend ever. She deserved so much better than her boyfriend yelling at her when she needed my support most. We really hadn't had gotten in many arguments over the years as best friends.

I walked toward the door, opening it. I turn around for only a moment to say, "I'm sorry," in a low, defeated tone before closing the door. I sunk down to the ground, pulling my hair. I started to hear her sob, resulting in tears of my own to fall. She didn't deserve me. She'd be better with almost anyone better than me. I hated how I was back there. I just exploded.

I composed myself before standing up. I peeked through the window since the curtain was slightly open. She was still sitting solitary on the couch, her head propped on her hands. Her body was shaking heavily. I couldn't see her like this anymore.

Braxton wasn't the only one who was broken. I was broken too.

Something in my mind clicked. Red invaded my vision. I knew I could get some sort of leveling for how I felt. I walked home slowly, my hands shoved in my pocket. I knew what I was gonna do. When I got home, I changed into a black hoodie and black Adidas joggers. I also put on a beanie and a half-mask over the bottom half of my face. I looked in the bathroom mirror to find myself almost unrecognizable.

When I knew it'd be dark when I arrived, I left on my bike to Braxton's house. Like I calculated, it was dark when I arrived. His truck was the only vehicle there. I peeked into one of the windows on the side of the house. He lived in a very nice home. Luckily, nobody was to be seen. I walked up to the front door, trying it. It opened at the turn of a knob.

I crept inside, looking around cautiously. I took a guess that the bedroom with the door open was his. I entered it, looking around for him. I went into his closet, keeping it cracked just enough for me to see through. I ended up waiting there for ten minutes before he entered. He just sat on his spiny chair, gazing out mindlessly.

I hesitated before just exiting the closet in a rushed state. I grabbed onto his collar and pulled him off the chair. His body slammed to the ground. He just looked up at me without a care for anything. I landed a punch right on the jaw. He fought back, giving me a couple of blows, but gave up shortly.

"This is my punishment, God. This is it," he muttered quietly. I stopped and hovered his body for a moment. He started muttering jumbled things. Overwhelmed with emotion and tears bubbling in my eyes, I punch him again with a yell.

"You can't do that! You hurt her. You scarred her. The pain you're feeling right now can't even come close to how she feels. Don't ever lay a finger on my girl again! On any girl again! You can't do that!" I finish with a scream. He passes out cold. I breathed raggedly, my jaw clenched tightly. I studied his bloodied face. I worried for a second that I did something much worse, but find a heartbeat. I stood up, putting my hands on the back of my head.

"What have I done?" I whispered. I was broken. I was broken. I was broken. I dropped my hands and looked at them. My hands were shaking furiously. I saw my palms first and then turned my hands around slowly. I pulled down the mask with one hand while studying the other hand. It was swollen and bloody. I looked back at him again, his body still limp. His face was bloodied beyond recognition.

I was truly a monster.

I walked out of the room slowly, exiting the house soon after. When I exited the house, it had started to rain. I got on the bike, riding with no real destination, but somehow made it to a small park. I sat on a damp bench. I pulled out my phone and went to Ada's contact. I sent her a message to ask if she was alright but never got an answer. I laid on the bench, looking up at the dark, cloudy sky. After sending six more messages without a response, my eyes drifted closed. I sat up suddenly. I checked the time to see it was one in the morning.

Soaked and shivering due to the wind and cold weather, I got back on the bike and made my way to the house I was so familiar with. Shaking because I was soaked in cold water in the winter, I walked up to the front steps slowly. I balled up my knuckles to knock, reevaluating how messed up they were. I opened the door slowly, a squealing creak releasing as I open the door.

When I entered, my eyes met with Sam's instantly. I looked at Ada who had her head resting on Sam's shoulder, sleeping. They were watching Black Panther. Samantha got up slowly, replacing her shoulder with a pillow for Ada. She walked up to me and smacked me across the face, resulting in a loud smack. I cup onto my sore cheek which already felt bruised because of his punches.

"How dare you say that to her. You had no right," Sam said, fuming. Her eyes were watery. My eyes watered as well, my gaze not faltering. "She called me, balling her eyes out." I wanted to say something, but she continued speaking.

"You betrayed her. She was looking to you for support, and you screamed at her... I'm not sure how easily she'll forgive you for that," she said in a clipped voice. 

I swallowed harshly, focusing on Adi again. She cracked her eyes open, looked me in the eyes and averting her attention to my messed up hands. Her face was unreadable. An expression I had never seen before. And I didn't know what to think of it.