Promise I'm Trying

~four~

"Well... um, where's your dad?"

Josh's breath hitched. "He um... He isn't um..." Josh took a deep breath, "He doesn't live here. When I came out, he wasn't very nice about it. He b-beat me and called me names. My mom kicked him out and he didn't have anywhere to go so he lived on the streets, turned to drugs. He got caught and now he's in prison." Josh let a single tear escape.

"Josh, it's okay to be mad and it's okay to cry. We all get sad about things."

"Okay, jeez, can I see your songs now? I haven't told anyone that, so these better be good!"

"Ugh... fine, but only 'cause your cute."

"Somebody's got a crush on me!"

"Shut up, you asked for my number" Tyler handed Josh the notebook.

Josh read each song, but he stopped, reading carefully, a song called Fall Away.

"Stop!" Tyler yelled pulling the notebook away. "S-sorry."

"Tyler when did you write that? It's really good, just wondering."

"A couple days ago." Tyler said, putting the notebbok back in his backpack. As he put it back, his sleeve went up a little and Josh noticed.

"T-Tyler?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I see your arm?"

"W-why?" 

"Tyler, I saw." Josh said, holding back tears.

"Saw what?"

"scars."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do Tyler. Why?"

"I-it-it-it's-" Tyler started breathing quickly and shaking.

"Tyler!" Josh said, wrapping an arm around him, "Shh... It's okay. Don't talk, just breathe. Focus on my breath."

~~~

After about five minutes of deep breathing Tyler started to speak again.

"Sometimes, I just feel so numb a-and I just feel dead, like I'm just going through the motions. It lets me feel something. Anything is better than nothing."

"Tyler, sometimes it's better to feel nothing. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"You think I do!?"

"No it's just-"

"Shut up. I haven't known you that long and you can just forget about me. It's not like you really care."

"I do care Tyler. I really do and I want you to stay alive."

"Maybe I don't" Tyler said in a whisper so quiet Josh almost didn't hear.

"Ty, let me help you. I have my own problems and I really think I can help you with yours. Please?"

"Why do you wanna help me?"

"When I see beautiful, kind people struggling I want to help them."

"I'm not beautiful."

"Yes you are Tyler. I noticed the first time I saw you." Josh blushed. "Can I finish reading the lyrics to that song?"

"Y-yeah," Tyler said, handing Josh the notebook.

Josh carefully read each word. "That's like really good!"

"I-it's okay."

Ty, Give yourself more credit. This is really frickin' good!"

"Really?

"Yeah," Josh said, "Hey, you wanna go get something to eat? I'm starving and could really go for some taco bell!"

"No, I'm not hungry, but I should probably go home soon so if you wouldn't mind giving me a ride..."

"You're right on the way, and I couldn't make someone as beautiful as you walk home in the dark!"

Tyler blushed, "Thanks,"

"No problem,"

Josh pulled Tyler into a tight hug before they headed out.

Hi, (920 words!) this chapter was pretty serious and pretty sad, but next chapter will be funny and fluffy so it's okay. Today I was playing guitar and I dropped my pick in. It wasn't cool. Also, my brother is home right now so it'll be a few day until my next update. Leave comments because that'd be cool and I'm always bored so I'll reply! Stay happy, Stay healthy, Have fun, and Stay Alive |-/

~Lily